tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49653275677645732662024-03-05T22:54:38.843-08:00Baby Tiger: Mauling Mediocritybaby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.comBlogger139125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-13520357033559270332010-04-30T13:44:00.000-07:002010-04-30T16:38:30.114-07:00When focus = obsession = spendingMy focus this past month has been on skin care as my skin has been having a tragical time of it. This is possibly due to a hormonal upheaval which is possibly due to the fact that my recent birthday puts me firmly on the threshold of a new decade. My skin care regime now involves anti-aging, wrinkle repair, moisturizing, and acne wrangling. Oh yes, it is a delicate balance and a tricky tightrope to maneuver indeed.<br /><br />This momentous birthday came with the overall intention to focus on my health and skin which in my mind will stave off any depression over not being 21 anymore.<br /><br />Of course with me any new focus usually involves spending money on crazy things that will help me keep focused. Despite my knowledge of my ridiculousness I participate in it anyway.<br />It's not cool but it's the truth.<br /><br />I've returned to the school of Perricone because ultimately I know he is right. Cleaner eating helps your insides and your outsides. That and while I was at the Planet Beauty looking for zit medicine I got sucked back into his vortex of expensive products that promise beautiful skin. But not in a miracle, magical way. More in a "you really have to eat right, take care of yourself AND spend a shitload of money" kind of way.<br /><br />I'm currently waiting for my sample of Cold Plasma that I found online for only $10. It is regularly a really expensive product so finding a sample was a big deal. I realize that if I fall in love with it I will be looking at a really tough decision. But apparently "if you only use one product, this is it." That's what the girl at Planet Beauty told me anyway (genius name btw, who wouldn't want to live on a planet of beauty. I would love to commute between there and Planet Unicorn).<br /><br />Of course while I was on the site I had to buy "Skin Clear" Supplements because that is my problem right now and it seemed like it was made just for me and what I am going through at this moment. It's like google whispers in my ear and says "hey girl, don't fret. We have just what you need." The siren song continued: "Hey, we know you are feeling a little tired and are always looking for an energy boost. Why not try a little of this?" So yes, I also bought something called PEP too. So my super cheap $10 "find" turned something a little more expensive.<br /><br />But hey, it's all in the name of health...and good skin.<br />And vanity.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-85418329311592073472010-04-28T09:03:00.000-07:002010-04-28T09:08:59.559-07:00Ripped from the headlines of my life<blockquote>John: You were missed on Easter. We did nothing.<br /><br />Me: Went to the farmers market on Easter. Bought some crazy super juice with alfalfa hoping it would be life changing. It's sitting in the fridge.<br /><br />John: Juice is never good. I once threw a jamba juice from the car… I just knew it wouldn’t change anything.</blockquote>baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-17552425438540352422010-04-26T13:18:00.000-07:002010-04-26T14:05:28.241-07:00I'm a LadyI was at a stoplight and crossing in front of me was a cross dresser. Now, I can COMPLETELY understand why a man might want to dress in women's clothing. Women have fantastic options. "Sky's the limit" variety and so much more latitude than men have. Bearing that in mind, I ask you, obvious man in women's clothing, WHY???? Why, did you choose THAT? (I am using caps because I am, in fact, screaming).<br /><br />I mean really, forget that you have the worst, scraggly, almost to the shoulder, please get some highlights, filthy dishwater hair. Let's just forget the "comfy" old sandals. Forget that you have a 5 o'clock shadow. Forget that you are a man. Forget all of that.<br /><br />Why are you wearing an oversized, women's, polka dot, sailorish style blouse with a HUGE bib type collar on top of a shapeless, elastic waist, to the ankle skirt (I am surmising about the waist given what I can see coming out of the horrifying top that hits at the worst part of the hip).<br /><br />WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?<br /><br />There is so much to pick from. Our clothes are awesome and I bet you feel more like your true self in them. Whatever.<br /><br />YOU ARE ROYALLY FUCKING THIS UP.<br /><br />So either do this better or wear your own sex's clothes. I am not kidding.<br />I feel you can do less harm in them given the inherent limitations of men's clothing.<br /><br />Why why why don't I carry my phone with the camera mode on at all times? I am so mad at myself. So I guess, man in the worst choice of girl clothes ever, we are both a little wrong today. I think I have learned. I fear that you, however, are a lost cause.<br />(that is, unless I see you again).<br /><br />ps: I love you Little Britain. I love you.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-83611142367247133252010-02-18T09:21:00.001-08:002010-02-21T14:09:30.169-08:00that really chaps my lipsMy lips have been chapped now for a solid 9 months. I thought they were getting better for a second there but they are having a freak out again. Everyone keeps telling me to go to the doctor but I really don't want to. It isn't because I hate doctors. Au contraire, I just recently skipped into my physician's office to see if I could get her to give me some speed so I wouldn't have to sleep so much. It failed. When I told her I was tired and I slept a lot she told me to "sleep while I can." Implying what? That some day I won't be able to sleep? That was just fucking stupid but she holds the prescription pad so I held my tongue.<br /><br />For anyone who's worried about me. Don't be. While my goal in life is to have more energy and get more done, I'm not crazy. I didn't actually think she was going to give me speed.<br /><br />Not really.<br /><br />My point is, I'm not afraid to go to the doctor, it's just that it is a total pain in the ass and usually disappointing. Besides, I really want to figure this out on my own. I want to figure out with detective like precision which product may be the culprit and I want to find some home brew, nutty crunchy concoction that will cure me. I don't want to have to depend on a third party to get what I need.<br /><br />Especially when they won't give it to me.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-41556749839822311942010-02-18T08:15:00.000-08:002010-02-18T09:20:59.179-08:00The Mommie dearest in me.Today I just feel like throwing out all my shoes. It's not that I hate them, it's just that lately I've been feeling like I don't have the perfect shoes for the outfits I'm putting together. So I settle. Which I kinda hate and that makes me want to throw them all out and start over, even though I know that is stupid on so many levels. I imagine this is how people sometimes feel about their kids. What?<br /><br />I have threatened to take them to the "bad shoe home" if they don't shape up. I vividly remember the "bad girl home" threat being particularly effective. Especially the time we did a drive by. Perhaps I should take a swing by the goodwill with all my shoes, or better yet, one of those drop boxes where things fall out and are scattered all over the parking lot in desolate disarray. That should put the fear of DSW in them.<br /><br />On the other hand, maybe I will go and buy one pair of shoes that I will favor in order to create some healthy competition for my attention. I feel obliged to say that my parents did not do this. However, it is something I would do as a parent hence, my knowing better than to have children.<br /><br />I do have my tax appointment next week and for anyone keeping track that means I will have accomplished one of my resolutions. However, the more important resolution of actually learning about finances has not happened so I fear a repeat of last year's tax/shoe debacle. Why would I buy a pair of shoes that I love above all my other shoes only to have the heartbreak and humiliation of returning them when I find out I owe thousands of dollars to the IRS? It flies too close to masochism in my book. I can't stand the thought of having to crawl back to my old shoes and beg their forgiveness in a dramatic Shakespearianesque downfall through hubris situation.<br /><br />I guess I better find a way to suck it up and fall in love with my old shoes again.<br />This sucks.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-15562833635531593542010-02-11T10:51:00.000-08:002010-02-12T22:29:06.719-08:00Warning: I'm breaking the dream rule again...For anyone who hates to hear about other people's dreams, now is your chance to bail.<br /><br />Last night I had one of those waitress dreams/nightmares. John Baptiste was sitting at the counter waiting for coffee but I couldn't find any cream that was good so I had to go down to the basement to find some. It took me forever to find it, all the while I was painfully aware that his coffee was getting cold. As I was heading upstairs I discovered that we made donuts at the restaurant and I could pick one to eat. IT WAS SUCH A DIFFICULT CHOICE. I had an apron full of creamers and I had just picked the wrong donut. What a waste. I was definitely going to have to have another one.<br /><br />Who is John Baptiste, you ask? Someone from the far far left field of my brain where, apparently, people from my high school live. I think he's someone who went to my high school but it is quite possible I made him up. When I googled him, "John the Baptist" came up so it might have been him.<br />This is all I need, baked goods and my past oozing out of my psyche and converging in my dreams. Throw in a spider and we have ourselves a total party.<br /><br />Fuck, I want a donut right now.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-53057943202813134102010-02-08T13:01:00.000-08:002010-02-08T13:06:47.274-08:00Hangover...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSZ5rebI537HnBkfL2rliSfURmBPYMXKMEgaha0DRiu22YnKCb_sPszb_tY9pWzDoNNswjN-w6V2QTb2o63HRtE7RVpRVvSr9wauW8JDWEjET29DH0WSbR3GJsF5oqw6cfUW0vk7tTq8Yo/s1600-h/carb+fest2010.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 304px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSZ5rebI537HnBkfL2rliSfURmBPYMXKMEgaha0DRiu22YnKCb_sPszb_tY9pWzDoNNswjN-w6V2QTb2o63HRtE7RVpRVvSr9wauW8JDWEjET29DH0WSbR3GJsF5oqw6cfUW0vk7tTq8Yo/s400/carb+fest2010.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5435980950156392866" border="0" /></a><br />Quite the party.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-80607248154265481112010-02-03T18:35:00.000-08:002010-02-03T18:55:29.155-08:00Come ON!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6OiBitqIAgpL4EOgY_cMagrwYkzRSbC6-kzTbLN0yalIzY6pXOco-4FoMH4BHh-axsu4nbKIc1KlwtTKAdMj9dke-1o7NqvVOhvMl5JctUzgZxtZhUdu3K7OcUrOZcMtEay10B4tI6YC0/s1600-h/unbelieveable+boot.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6OiBitqIAgpL4EOgY_cMagrwYkzRSbC6-kzTbLN0yalIzY6pXOco-4FoMH4BHh-axsu4nbKIc1KlwtTKAdMj9dke-1o7NqvVOhvMl5JctUzgZxtZhUdu3K7OcUrOZcMtEay10B4tI6YC0/s320/unbelieveable+boot.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5434215903895017138" border="0" /></a>First let me say that Urban Outfitters is absolutely one of my favorite stores. ever. They have interesting pieces, beautiful cardigans, cute dresses, and great sales. While their catalog has of late made me feel like I'm about 25 years too old for their image, I shop there anyway. I simply eschew that feeling because, quite frankly, the 11 year old pre-pubescent girls that they have modeling, look ridiculous in most of their stuff. They should stick to early/mid 20's looking models as that is the demographic I like to be too old for.<br /><br />Anyhoo, I came across these boots while trolling the UO site. It is the <a href="http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=17371147&itemdescription=true&navAction=jump">"Jeffrey Campbell lace, over the knee boot."</a><br /><br />Ummm ya think?<br /><br />The boot shaft is 22"! I measured it on my leg and that boot would have to be named the "Jeffrey Campbell a teeny bit below the cooch" boot. Unbelievable. I mean seriously, who's leg will that fit on? I want to see that leg. It is making me angry that those legs even exist.<br /><br />I just...<br />can't.<br /><br />I'm out.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-9201157461695370112010-02-02T13:12:00.000-08:002010-02-02T14:03:25.327-08:00Bed Head: Navigating illusion and reality<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg635aUL9R-AbwFeT2LuQntirU2GjIsQce4w9lSeiScgkjWUVO0cosbNQKgsy_ch4WsCY64Zv0S_eeTT1BMjai-HFGhExU0xiel3RRanuovneNMzNkWjQ2LNg0hsTyrT2hI4PB8OCZWwgyr/s1600-h/bed+head.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg635aUL9R-AbwFeT2LuQntirU2GjIsQce4w9lSeiScgkjWUVO0cosbNQKgsy_ch4WsCY64Zv0S_eeTT1BMjai-HFGhExU0xiel3RRanuovneNMzNkWjQ2LNg0hsTyrT2hI4PB8OCZWwgyr/s320/bed+head.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433769817408489426" border="0" /></a>Bed Head has both negative and positive connotations. I have spent many hours creating the illusion of messy "just woke up" hair. The whole genre has been elevated to an art form. There are tons of products to help me in this undertaking, not the least of which is my new new found love, hair powder. Hair powder has the dual purpose of creating texture while also absorbing oil and getting rid of any of the negative aspects of actual bed head.<br /><br />There are several reasons not to wash your hair every single day:<br /><ul><li>protecting your color</li><li>time constraints</li><li>it looks better<br /></li><li>laziness</li></ul>I'm working on a combo platter of at least two of these at all times.<br /><br />Here's the thing, the trick to never letting anyone know the reality of your bed head is looking at the back of your skull. You MUST, must must take a mirror and look. When you sleep on your hair (and I think most of us do), you inevitably rub a flattened, matted, baldish looking spot into the back of your hair. If you fail to fix it, the entire illusion is shattered and everyone will look at you with a little crinkle of their nose. I think it is because getting out of bed and not smelling fresh are inevitably linked. I've seen it over and over and I've done it myself. It doesn't matter if you've showered. We are talking about the <span style="font-style: italic;">illusion</span> here. And our job is to be in control of the illusion at all times. You are what you present. So we need to make sure we know what we are presenting.<br /><br />I just saw a bed head illusion offender the other day and it occurred to me that perhaps people don't think to look at the back of their head so maybe they don't know it exists. Lord knows I often don't look at my ass in an attempt to pretend it isn't there. If I can't see it, it won't bother me. However, denial isn't always the best way to go lest you suddenly realize there is a giant hole in the butt of your pants or you have tell tale "authentic" bed head. Therefore, I thought it was time to address it. Officially. In this official blog.<br /><br />Done.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-1944372911569470362010-01-30T23:52:00.000-08:002010-01-31T00:18:42.108-08:00There is a point in here somewhere...I've come to accept that even at my age I am going to suffer some bad skin days and breakouts. Actually, let me re-phrase that, I have come to <span style="font-style: italic;">expect</span> it. I haven't really accepted anything. Now true, Alicia Silverstone is promoting her new book, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Kind Diet</span>, where she asserts that her skin just "glows" because of her vegan choices. Her skin does look amazing and I'm positive that right after I finish the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Fast track detox</span> again next week, I will give that one a go.<br /><br />I'm always on board for a new diet, I'm sorry, I mean "lifestyle."<br /><br />Who knows, maybe she's right and being a healthy vegan does wonders for your skin and it has nothing at all to do with gazillions of dollars and excellent facials and expensive products. I don't know. I'm skeptical considering Dr. Perricone's difficult to follow, but ultimately successful <span style="font-weight: bold;">Wrinkle Free</span> diet is heavy on the fish and really did improve my skin. I've never lived a vegan lifestyle so I guess I can't compare it equally at this point. I wouldn't mind seeing the two battle it out on Oprah, however. His diet has tons of expensive supplements. I wonder how Alicia stacks up. It's all expensive that's for sure.<br /><br />I'm still totally in. There isn't much I wouldn't try for beautiful skin.<br /><br />Actually, that isn't really my point. I got a little sidetracked.<br />My point is, if I'm having a bad skin day, it hardly seems fair that I would also have an incredibly painful zit inside my nose as well. Ok, logically, Alicia I know that it makes sense (why is she yelling?), but in terms of <span style="font-style: italic;">fairness</span> it seems they shouldn't both occur at the same time.<br /><br />Would you rather have an incredibly painful inside the nose zit that no one can see, or an ugly but totally not painful zit on the outside of your nose?<br /><br />That is my point/question.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-42410277630984652112010-01-28T23:45:00.000-08:002010-01-28T23:55:44.621-08:00Advertising works. It just plain works.The power of suggestion is amazing. I had brushed my teeth. No intention of eating again this evening. I start reading <a href="http://www.bakelikeyoumeanit.blogspot.com/">Jessica's blog</a> about baking and of course I want baked goods. No surprise there. Her pictures are amazing. But I don't have any baked goods in the house.<br />I'm no fool.<br /><br />Well eventually it gets to me and I go into the kitchen and eat toast with honey. It certainly isn't a gourmet cupcake or a flipping chocolate croissant (I would kill for one of those) but it's bread and that is the closest thing I have.<br /><br />Rose just called and bemoaned that she had Mexican food two nights in a row and ate the chips.<br /><br />I'm eating tortilla chips as I type.<br /><br />Cruel cruel world.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-31974503449286312562010-01-28T19:53:00.000-08:002010-01-28T22:07:29.293-08:00A retrospective, in receipts<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLQg_CC2z-n6MJceNIvTRwjEPeOCXReXgKnQtR7yMorqRmDRSyh1zHYH2_oVpEU-yUMRX9dGQBcinr0lreHPHikZtrAlLTOI3d2j1IkzKbdWkG643BvM-evD82dQrJ83uK-tvqoM_2X6EY/s1600-h/taxes+again.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 182px; height: 192px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLQg_CC2z-n6MJceNIvTRwjEPeOCXReXgKnQtR7yMorqRmDRSyh1zHYH2_oVpEU-yUMRX9dGQBcinr0lreHPHikZtrAlLTOI3d2j1IkzKbdWkG643BvM-evD82dQrJ83uK-tvqoM_2X6EY/s320/taxes+again.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5432039398938690226" border="0" /></a>The problem with doing my taxes so early is that I'm not quite ready to face the cold hard truth about my year as reviewed through my expenditures.<br /><br />Since I'm not really great at keeping my calendar/log/journal, my receipts are the only real marker for how I spent my time as well as my money. This Quicken thing is a killer. Categorizing is kind of my worst nightmare and I'm pretty sure I'm not even doing it right. I can't imagine what my retrospective would look like if I actually used this software to its fullest potential. Basically I think it is genius to be able to download all my transactions from various financial institutions so I'm not typing everything into a spreadsheet. I am aware that it is like buying a fancy computer and then just using Word. I know I should learn to really use Quicken. Learning about finances did move up to #2 on my list this year. I've also heard there is a 2010 version of Quicken for mac coming out soon. I do love new stuff. So perhaps this will be the year.<br /><br />I do know how to run a report to get my category totals. So yes, I am awesome. I flirt with the button that says it will show me my finances in graphs and pie charts but I never actually do it. Which is weird because I love pie. Truth be told I am terribly frightened of seeing a giant pie that says "clothing - kl" with just a tiny sliver of important stuff like "retirement." Again, I am awesome.<br /><br />The retrospective usually goes something like this:<br /><br />"huh, did I ever wear that shirt?"<br />"what the heck did I buy there?"<br />"Oh, I love that dress, why don't I wear that more often?"<br />"Ok, enough hair products. That budget is getting cut this year...that reminds me I'm low on pomade."<br />"That's right, I haven't worn that because I never did find the right top for it. Keep looking."<br />"Yeah, I never could get out of the house in that."<br />"This sucks. I could be watching Grey's Anatomy."<br />"Why don't I sell some of this shit on ebay?"<br />"If I just did my shopping by deductible category, this would be so much easier."<br />"I really didn't go enough places this year to wear all this."<br />"Yes, that outfit only had one outing but I still think it is classic."<br />"No, really. What was I thinking?"<br />"Gosh these pugs cost a lot of money. Well, the bee costume <span style="font-style: italic;">was</span> a necessity."<br />"Oh fun. I painted the apartment last year. I really should finish those shelves."<br />"Why haven't I collaged that table yet?"<br />"Holy crap on the craft supply hemorrhage! I cannot buy another thing until I use up every last thing I have."<br />"All in all I have very little to show for my year."<br /><br />I really do need to keep a more lively journal because this shit is depressing.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-82590783699134363172010-01-24T23:53:00.000-08:002010-01-25T00:36:18.530-08:00What to wear<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhndYAYo6oyLvwWEnElrShJba5E3VUl8e0WBFitOLthNTlKFuJTyMRa2FwvCZ7Yn5LFGUriwOchfyLv_T-W98-6N_S12V9ls0Brlec6dl_-PEMrL9ew_QADbFBoUvi_GjWOz6F1TbNA59jM/s1600-h/kl+gun+helga.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhndYAYo6oyLvwWEnElrShJba5E3VUl8e0WBFitOLthNTlKFuJTyMRa2FwvCZ7Yn5LFGUriwOchfyLv_T-W98-6N_S12V9ls0Brlec6dl_-PEMrL9ew_QADbFBoUvi_GjWOz6F1TbNA59jM/s320/kl+gun+helga.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5430593031996441394" border="0" /></a>What does a girl wear to her first day at the firing range?<br /><br />It's a really tough call. Do you go for irony and wear something really girlie like a dress? Is there any kind of dress code? I don't think so. I think irony (or maybe paradox) is better served if you are already proficient with a gun. OK, something with more of an edge then. However, not too much of an edge because the unmet expectation would just be embarrassing. Comfort should probably be a priority...I feel it is important to avoid that Cagney & Lacey/NYPD blue, detective, blazer thing. That feels wrong somehow.<br /><br />Other factors, it's raining and cold.<br /><br />Additionally, I can't forget to take into consideration my accessories are eye protection, ear protection and a gun.<br /><br />Hmmmmmm<br /><br />A zillion discarded shooting outfits later I finally went with the pair of the wide leg jeans I recently got hemmed, a long (to mid thigh) black turtleneck, and combat inspired boots.<br /><br />As for the shooting, I was surprised to discover:<br />Guns are heavier than I expected<br />I am jumpier around loud noises than I thought<br />It isn't as easy as the movies make it look<br />It would be uncomfortable to shoot a gun while wearing a police uniform<br />I have a new respect for anyone who carries a gun professionally<br />I'm not that good at it<br />I'm not totally horrible at it<br /><br />I absolutely plan on doing it again.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-29438364703391010902010-01-21T12:33:00.000-08:002010-01-21T13:13:00.102-08:00Fashion ingenuity applauded and then criticized just a little<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBVRUWtIwqOZPXpWvwKAakp4C4KZ_H-YVWWIP-bcvE6otAdTO5kXZjqccpZ3zv3uai5zsZesjyHKw5yvTxIDBKf488_4ZIgLU4MeIaXxxidrongdMQgzS3zbRr70DV6COa20MHagx-Kwm6/s1600-h/bag+skirt.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 182px; height: 192px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBVRUWtIwqOZPXpWvwKAakp4C4KZ_H-YVWWIP-bcvE6otAdTO5kXZjqccpZ3zv3uai5zsZesjyHKw5yvTxIDBKf488_4ZIgLU4MeIaXxxidrongdMQgzS3zbRr70DV6COa20MHagx-Kwm6/s320/bag+skirt.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5429091990807473490" border="0" /></a>We are in the midst of a torrential downpour and today I spied a woman wearing a plastic Target bag as a skirt! GENIUS. Actually it was over pants so it was more like "pants skirt." If I wasn't driving I would for sure have snapped a picture but I was afraid I would splash her with a wall of water in my attempt.<br /><br />I sincerely applaud her ingenuity.<br /><br />However, the whole thing was fueled solely by practicality and I feel if you are on the path to greatness you should really go all the way.<br /><br />I'd like to explore her options:<br /><br />The bag was one of the mid sized large ones you get when you buy pillows or a puffy throw. So it turned out to be a kind of boxy, below the knee skirt. You could use the small standard size bag to create a cute mini skirt or one of the really big long bags to do a cocktail length number.<br /><br />She wore it handle side down and I'm guessing she cut a small hole in the bottom and then pulled it over her head so the hole was small enough not to fall over her hips. Is it unfair to say that it would have added a little something special if she had knotted the handles a couple of times?<br /><br />Now, what if you put your legs through a small hole in the bottom of the bag and tied the handles together around your waist so that it stayed a little tighter around the legs creating a tulip skirt? Nice.<br /><br />Or what about double bagging and then pulling the handles up from the bottom giving you a bustle or pouf skirt thing going on? I like it.<br /><br />Obviously Target isn't the only bag you can use but if you have bright, shiny red rain boots then it just seems obvious.<br /><br />Here's something weird that I didn't think of until now, while she did have an umbrella, she didn't roll up her pants at all and she wasn't wearing rain boots. Why take such innovative measures to protect your pants from waist to knee, but do nothing to protect your pants from the knee down? I'm going to strongly suggest tights and rain boots to really make this outfit both super cute and practical.<br /><br />On a final note, Target bag skirt lady didn't seem as proud of her invention as I would have been. I would have been strutting around like I was all that and then some.<br /><br />It's like she doesn't even know how awesome she is.<br /><br />That is just heartbreaking.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-83968604342635223602010-01-20T21:44:00.000-08:002010-01-20T22:33:34.226-08:00I'm sorry, what?It is pouring rain here and rain makes me think.<br />So, I was in the car and it occurred to me I really don't understand the deal with churches that have the giant red awareness ribbon on them. What are they trying to say? That they are focused on AIDS awareness? That they are crusaders in the fight against AIDS? "People with AIDS welcome here?"<br /><br />Why would they spend all that money on a giant metal sculpture? Wouldn't that money be better spent on research or the massively expensive cost of the medication for their afflicted parishioners whom they may or may not have enticed into their church with their humongous red ribbon?<br /><br />I really don't get it. But then again I don't really get church either.<br />And there are a lot of these red ribbon churches. I saw three on my short ride home.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNm4e_BrfG8Du6sqZQQwD55VXVTn5t-kUq4tTW7wXWa9z0qSEeLGBC8xNqTz53QjdOLtMu2PhuMtuzhirEkhkzXjz9StrVsXqPku14CovbsJWRv0bsby3Tv6GS0MHrTRPDvr910PDP67DI/s1600-h/IMG_1181.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 237px; height: 270px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNm4e_BrfG8Du6sqZQQwD55VXVTn5t-kUq4tTW7wXWa9z0qSEeLGBC8xNqTz53QjdOLtMu2PhuMtuzhirEkhkzXjz9StrVsXqPku14CovbsJWRv0bsby3Tv6GS0MHrTRPDvr910PDP67DI/s320/IMG_1181.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5429076014573908754" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwFYnC_V6H-YqAKAA3HCSjzhD7-Z54dDonjdc71xJB-gnNza7ck5nb_wLxBPiP2aI9H3gs63CYVUVhSOGFIHX5nH0SAWtIZjQFprTZUVUnr7UdQJj6wHVc82aYFAQgk1_OHjGXW4WGatgn/s1600-h/IMG_1182.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 215px; height: 271px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwFYnC_V6H-YqAKAA3HCSjzhD7-Z54dDonjdc71xJB-gnNza7ck5nb_wLxBPiP2aI9H3gs63CYVUVhSOGFIHX5nH0SAWtIZjQFprTZUVUnr7UdQJj6wHVc82aYFAQgk1_OHjGXW4WGatgn/s320/IMG_1182.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5429076149207500066" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivEOKN6NSkyh14qxd8T3xgyWQtJVUcNguFCg_x9es6S3S36e0Xi_TYMw7_zPZ92mHvSatKlVWZ_AkaXbeaSGIoSuSv52iCst5Uekym6zluKFGn9o8qjD0nCF0tYCQQ80cBHqPlCEMBbzyp/s1600-h/IMG_1185.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 204px; height: 272px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivEOKN6NSkyh14qxd8T3xgyWQtJVUcNguFCg_x9es6S3S36e0Xi_TYMw7_zPZ92mHvSatKlVWZ_AkaXbeaSGIoSuSv52iCst5Uekym6zluKFGn9o8qjD0nCF0tYCQQ80cBHqPlCEMBbzyp/s320/IMG_1185.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5429076278353353506" border="0" /></a>baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-10570811277123560772010-01-18T01:47:00.000-08:002010-01-18T02:13:32.891-08:00And now for some breaking news...I just read in Oprah Magazine that "people with thighs less than 24 inches around face a higer risk of heart disease." Apparently thigh fat might help flush the blood of something bad and helps you live longer.<br />And and and<br />"The antioxidants in chocolate have beneficial effects on blood pressure." Not just dark chocolate either, they actually said Toblerone (shut the F up).<br /><br />Pretty sure I'm living forever.<br /><br />Yes, I do know there was an earthquake in Haiti. Stop yelling at me.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-19452773108147541702010-01-16T23:12:00.000-08:002010-01-16T23:52:17.725-08:00Everything and Nothing<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhtJKR_-nKW1pk67KHSyOZ8lUkMIPEdYYvWzDawqHgog2dQrzVEPN2Xl16o2mzvhnXGFm7IugqSQcol61gJJBA_Sj4Qc6d7PGaJMksZbeVakcvzF-nL1GDcTDvwwZYTLvplSS4_Q6KSfpZ/s1600-h/androgyny.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 182px; height: 192px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhtJKR_-nKW1pk67KHSyOZ8lUkMIPEdYYvWzDawqHgog2dQrzVEPN2Xl16o2mzvhnXGFm7IugqSQcol61gJJBA_Sj4Qc6d7PGaJMksZbeVakcvzF-nL1GDcTDvwwZYTLvplSS4_Q6KSfpZ/s320/androgyny.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5427613419487810050" border="0" /></a>I have always had a penchant for masculine looking shoes which is why I am pleased to see them making a strong showing lately. I'm so glad that I still have my manish fluevog loafers from 10 years ago. Hoarding can actually come in handy sometimes.<br /><br />Rose and I were at H&M last night and low and behold they have a Jimmy Choo man's inspired lace up with some Elton John like, blingy flair. For anyone who hasn't heard (or couldn't put it together from what I just said), Jimmy Choo is at H&M. The price tag is high for H&M but extremely inexpensive for a Jimmy Choo meeting nicely in the middle much like the shoe itself which meets somewhere between masculine and feminine.<br /><br />This brings me to one of my favorite words:<br />Androgyny<br />I love it because it simultaneously means "neither" and "both."<br />Seriously, look it up.<br /><br />"A state of having both masculine and feminine traits; A state of appearing to be neither masculine nor feminine"<br /><br />"showing characteristics of both sexes "<br />"Pertaining to a characteristic that is not definitively male or female; A condition in which gender is unknown, ambivalent, indeterminate, or neuter; Possessing qualities of both sexes"<br /><br />It is also a song by Garbage. That I did not know.<br /><br />Androgyny has made a splash on the runway, in music, theatre, in feminism, the lesbian community, the gay community, it has symbolized freedom, empowerment, rebellion, sexuality, sexual orientation, identity.<br /><br />It's like the greatest word ever.<br /><br />What I'm trying to say is, it would be cool to own a pair of Jimmy Choo's.<br />That and I love k.d. lang.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-32882197430427514442010-01-15T16:21:00.000-08:002010-01-15T16:41:29.970-08:00I wonder if...I wonder if improving my at home lounge wear will inspire me to answer the door. Probably not.<br />Not answering the door doesn't have so much to do with me being embarrassed by what I'm wearing (although I'll admit I should be) as much as it has to do with not wanting to have to tell someone no and have them not listen to me.<br /><br />I hate hate hate it when someone is trying to sell me something or trying to con me out of money and won't take "no, thank you" for an answer. People simply will not listen to me. I've had this problem all my life. I think it's because I'm short and I look nice and therefore gullible. They think I'm an easy "get" and can't believe their ears when I say "no." I've tried toughening up my look a little. I changed my hair color and got some tough looking bangs but it isn't quite doing the trick.<br /><br />The way I see it I have two choices:<br /><br />1) act like a crazy bitch who seems to have little regard for her own safety much less theirs or<br />b) casually wear a gun holster and a gun when I answer the door<br /><br />I think a gun holster with a gun would make a great accessory to my upgraded lounge wear. Newshead says I'm not allowed to have a gun.<br /><br />So for now, when someone knocks, I drop to the floor and crawl slowly around my apartment until they go away.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-42802417079459055552010-01-14T01:06:00.000-08:002010-01-14T01:31:12.557-08:00I'm taking a wide stance hereI really need to rethink my "at home" wear. I will admit the things I wear around my house are alarming (and I mean in an ugly, unflattering way). It is like I can't wear any of my "nice" stuff if I am just going to be by myself (or just with Newshead). I don't even wear my B team clothes. Nope I wear things that are just about to get thrown out. Am I not worthy of some cute lounge wear? I'm pretty sure I would be much more productive if I was wearing something a little more motivational.<br /><br />You only have to watch the <span style="font-style: italic;">Sex in the City</span> movie to know that even a sad Carrie Bradshaw wears the cutest "I'm depressed and not getting out of bed" clothes and as a result she DOES get out of bed. Point taken.<br /><br />A little more "practice what you preach and take some of your own advice" please.<br /><br />What is wrong with me?<br /><br />I feel like one of those religious zealots who condemn gay people and then get caught trying to wrangle up some same sex sex in an airport bathroom. The sheer hypocrisy of it.<br /><br />So tomorrow I am going to sit around my house in a <span style="font-weight: bold;">brand new</span> $3 tank top.<br /><br />Boy, are the pugs going to be surprised.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-23782309917346023982010-01-13T00:38:00.000-08:002010-01-14T01:32:09.698-08:00On the subject of scienceA lot of diets out there say that a piece of cheese is a good snack because it has some protein and is higher in fat so it will satiate you and you will stay full longer. Ummmm.<br />I am pretty sure that I defy science and I'm wondering if there is any money to be made here.<br />I am in no way exaggerating when I say I can eat pounds of cheese and I don't feel full at all. Cube after cube, slice after slice. I'm like a freak of nature.<br /><br />The same phenomenon occurs with nuts if anyone is doing an experiment on that.<br /><br />Now if you've read "Skinny Bitch" (and I have) it says that cheese is difficult to stop eating because there is actually something in it that is ADDICTIVE. A great deal of these food "addictions" are in your head but apparently, not the cheese one. It's for real.<br /><br />This info makes me both happy and sad. Happy because I can fully rationalization my continued cheese consumption and sad because I will hide behind it for a good long time.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-59454953765015885272010-01-10T23:26:00.000-08:002010-01-10T23:28:31.341-08:00Would you rather...Would you rather have terrible skin when you are a kid but then have perfect skin in your mid 30's and for the rest of your life or have a few rotating zits that continue throughout your life?<br /><br />Most of the time I would say the latter but today I'm waffling.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-85298358061015714732010-01-09T23:28:00.000-08:002010-01-10T23:54:32.712-08:00The latest diet craze...I had a bad night at work and so I turned to my old friends bread and cheese for some comfort. They never fail to make me feel better/worse and tonight was no exception. (Whole Wheat and Feta, thank you for asking). As part of my "just drown it," ritual I, of course, looked around for something sweet to eat before I had even finished swallowing much less waiting to see if I was actually hungry (that is key when you chain eat, fyi). My eye alighted on some frosted cookies that Newshead had left them out like a little grenade.<br /><br />Me: You know what? I had a really shitty night so YES I AM going to have a cookie, I...WTF?<br /><br />I opened them to find just the frosted top eaten off of all but two of the cookies. Ummm Gross. No thanks.<br /><br />When I asked Newshead about it in the morning he wasn't even embarrassed.<br /><br />He actually offered to do it to all of the junk food for me.<br /><br />I'm really very touched.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-37120277504919271102010-01-08T01:00:00.000-08:002010-01-08T01:12:12.961-08:00All cleaned out...sort ofI tried the "Fast Track Detox Diet"<br /><br />I did really well except for the fact that I couldn't stop drinking coffee because I got a blinding migraine and threw up the very first day. Now there are two ways to look at it:<br />1) I'm very good at this super "fast track" stuff and these are all of my toxins bursting out of me or<br />b) I'm really very fond of my toxins and I should consider just hang on to some of them<br /><br />Because I was starting my new job I couldn't very well continue in this vein so I decided to keep drinking coffee but do everything else on the diet because I'm no quitter. Apparently I'm just a not do it all (er).<br /><br />Who's kidding who? As much as I want to be a detoxified person, I really was in it for the weight loss. (Kim lost 6lbs and who wouldn't want that?). The byproduct of having a clean liver is great and all, but is my liver trying to get into those Hudson Jeans I finally got hemmed?<br /><br />Exactly.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-72635583428643869722010-01-07T22:33:00.000-08:002010-01-08T01:00:38.157-08:00For the sake of argument...Flat hair and straight hair are simply not the same thing and while we are not on the subject, honey could very well be classified as a controlled substance and someone should call the DEA on me right now.<br /><br />Stat.baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965327567764573266.post-73393252028550059552010-01-05T23:58:00.000-08:002010-01-06T01:06:45.267-08:00You have got to be kidding meIf you are going to walk around dressed like Wonder Woman, you should really do yourself a favor and take a shower.<br />Nothing ruins a bold move like greasy hair and a grungy unwashed person in a grungy unwashed superhero outfit.<br /><br />Seriously, I can get behind the fact that the most unlikely person I've ever seen has decided to be Wonder Woman today. Hats off to you.<br />I will even try to get behind the completely wrong "but these are the only heels I have" shoe choice.<br /><br />However, I simply cannot get behind the fact that you stink.<br /><br />No Wonder Woman for you!baby tigerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18051971497375185880noreply@blogger.com2