A life hijacked by "cute idea"

I spent almost all of last week trying to be Martha Stewart and let me tell you, it isn't easy. Not to mention how incredibly time consuming it is. I always assumed that being crafty and creative was less expensive than buying shit outright, and it was a quicker more efficient way to throw a party. I was very much mistaken.

First you have to decide a theme for your event and then you have to figure out how much detail you will add to fit the theme. The possibilities are endless. Sometimes this requires looking for inspiration from other crafty Martha types if you don't happen to have a bunch of brilliant out of the box ideas at the ready. This can suck you into the vortex of the internet for untold hours.

Then you have to purchase all of your materials to bring these ideas into reality. This is not necessarily less expensive than buying something that a machine made but it is "personal." And then, of course, you have to physically construct said ideas using your own brain and hands.

I'm really good at looking for inspiration and exceptionally good at purchasing items that will someday be perfect for all of my ideas. I suck at narrowing down my ideas and actually doing them. I'm a procrastinator and I rarely leave myself enough time for the actual assemblage.

When I wait tables I pride myself on my ability to multitask. I am a super quick thinker and my efficiency is off the charts.

Not so much when I am creating a crafting masterpiece. I can't seem to do anything else but my craft project. I wish I could say I don't even stop to eat but I would just be lying. I also create a giant pile of chaotic mess that lasts for days. My final product is usually "ok" to "pretty good" but the road there is full of many re-do's and re-buying of things I have ruined making the end result a bit of a mixed bag.

This will not stop me however. I will continue to convince myself that I can make and do anything and my love of paper and glue cannot be squelched.

If I were ever to try and sell my stuff the price would have to be exorbitant in order to cover the labor and materials. I would never make a profit. But art isn't necessarily about profit now is it?

Please don't misunderstand. I do not in anyway feel like a failure. On the contrary. I don't believe in failure. I believe in perspective shifts.

I am not Martha Stewart.

I am a virtuoso "slop artist"
and I'm pretty cool with that.