Wait, this place looks familiar...

So I've been sick, annoyed, overworked, not getting paid (literally my paychecks are bouncing), unable to shop, unable to sleep, and not working out. So I have been doing what I always do to make myself feel better/worse:

Eating crap.

And a lot of it.

Well hello rock bottom, fancy meeting you again after such a short time.

Rock bottom is an interesting place to visit over and over again. I've been to quite a few of the nine circles of RB.

Level three (from whence I am writing) is deceptive because it is somewhat comfortable. You can escape to fattening comfort food, tv, loose fitting clothes and a misguided justification that you deserve to wallow in this circle of inertia and what's the useness of it all. This is a place where an extra 7lbs is free upon entry and you can leave the heavy burden of ambition and aspiration at the door. It seems nice...for awhile.
And then it turns on you in a Hotel California way and you realize you have to check out or get your shit together and just leave.

I am good and sick of myself so it's bootstrap time (again). No more of this! Life is more fun when you are striving for unattainable thinness and reaching for those new summer sandals, endeavoring to be the girl who wears summer frocks, finding joy in the little things like trying to make the necklace you can't afford to buy and trying to figure out what your signature look of the season is going to be.

It takes a lot of oomph and mental determination to ascend from the inferno of rock bottom. However, barring physical illness or injury, it really is about FORCING the mental shift instead of waiting for it. They don't deliver "Ah Ha" moments to the nine circles, they deliver pizza.

Tomorrow is another day. I'm starting over. New focus on health and happiness.
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow...