I wonder if...

I wonder if improving my at home lounge wear will inspire me to answer the door. Probably not.
Not answering the door doesn't have so much to do with me being embarrassed by what I'm wearing (although I'll admit I should be) as much as it has to do with not wanting to have to tell someone no and have them not listen to me.

I hate hate hate it when someone is trying to sell me something or trying to con me out of money and won't take "no, thank you" for an answer. People simply will not listen to me. I've had this problem all my life. I think it's because I'm short and I look nice and therefore gullible. They think I'm an easy "get" and can't believe their ears when I say "no." I've tried toughening up my look a little. I changed my hair color and got some tough looking bangs but it isn't quite doing the trick.

The way I see it I have two choices:

1) act like a crazy bitch who seems to have little regard for her own safety much less theirs or
b) casually wear a gun holster and a gun when I answer the door

I think a gun holster with a gun would make a great accessory to my upgraded lounge wear. Newshead says I'm not allowed to have a gun.

So for now, when someone knocks, I drop to the floor and crawl slowly around my apartment until they go away.

You've got a Fast Car

For some people cars are about image. Actually, the car you drive says something about you whether you are into cars or not. I don't really care about cars. Sure I appreciate the cuteness of a VW bug or a mini or the classic beauty of an old Mercedes or vintage whatever. I'd like to be able to afford a "green" car (being the greenest seems to be reserved for the wealthy or at least the steadily employed) but that is as far as my interest goes. Right now my Corolla says "practical, reliable, would rather spend money on shoes." I'm ok with that.

I take serious issue with people who get splashy, flashy, sporty cars and then drive 10 miles under the speed limit. There is nothing more annoying than driving behind a Porsche that can't seem to go the actual speed limit when that image requires you go at least 10 over. Now I'm not advocating recklessness, or perhaps I am, because that is what I expect when I see an expensive "sports" car.

There should be a driving test for anyone wanting to get a car with a "speedy, zippy" image. If you can't live up to it, you can't have it. These car makers should be really worried. Too many people are ruining their brand and I for one am sick of it. If you are driving a Cadillac or a Lincoln town car, I got ya, you're slow. You have money but you are SLOW. Fine. But don't you dare hold me up in your BMW speed racer going 30 in a 55. For shame.

Now everyone is allowed to exceed their car image. Driving a lusty 70 on the highway in your ancient pick up truck with a bunch of lawn equipment, hazzah. You surprise and delight me. Let us both pass the beautiful Viper sadly falling short of its potential.

It doesn't matter what you drive. It matters how lame you drive.

If you can't drive the image you can't buy the image. That is all I'm saying.

Now please be careful out there (and stop embarrassing us both).