Oh the packing

I find traveling stressful. Once I am at my destination I'm fine. However, planning and actually getting there drives me nuts. First, I hate having to pick out outfits ahead of time. I never know how I'm going to feel so it is hard to limit my choices to suitcase size. I dream of traveling "light" but every time I try, I end up having nothing I need. I'm very envious of those people who can simply take a backpack for a two week trip. I have to face it, I am not low maintenance.

I want to have a great outfit for every person I'm seeing on my trip because I don't see them very often. I would hate for them to remember me in just jeans and a t-shirt and, god forbid, not even remember my shoe choice.

They say when you are nervous or anxious it is important to do something soothing, calming and therapeutic. The day before I left for my recent trip, I spent 5 hours at the mall. For me shopping is as good as doing yoga or meditating. It also makes me feel better to have a couple of new items for my trip. Well, it makes me feel better to have a couple of new things. Period.

Another element of stress is the fact that I need to go through every single thing I own as I pack while simultaneously cleaning and organizing my apartment. It is almost as if I need to inventory everything as a ritual to make sure I'm bringing the best of my wardrobe. Additionally, I can't leave if my stuff is in too much chaos. I have a thing about someone looking through my stuff if I am in a plane crash. I get to a point where I have to turn that thought off or I would never leave my apartment. Trying to keep my stuff in a "death ready" state is exhausting. I think the worst would be if the plane crashed ala Cast Away and everyone went through my stuff but then I came back. I don't think about them being happy that I am alive but rather the fact that they will look at me and think "wow you had a million wine foils in a drawer and your photos were woefully unorganized"

The good thing about going on a trip is that I always put together an outfit that I have never worn before or I bring something that I have bought on a daring impulse but haven't had the guts to wear yet. Wearing something different and new is exciting when you are away from home. That is always fun and completely worth the anxiety.