Bed Head: Navigating illusion and reality

Bed Head has both negative and positive connotations. I have spent many hours creating the illusion of messy "just woke up" hair. The whole genre has been elevated to an art form. There are tons of products to help me in this undertaking, not the least of which is my new new found love, hair powder. Hair powder has the dual purpose of creating texture while also absorbing oil and getting rid of any of the negative aspects of actual bed head.

There are several reasons not to wash your hair every single day:

• protecting your color
• time constraints
• it looks better
  
• laziness

I'm working on a combo platter of at least two of these at all times.

Here's the thing, the trick to never letting anyone know the reality of your bed head is looking at the back of your skull. You MUST, must must take a mirror and look. When you sleep on your hair (and I think most of us do), you inevitably rub a flattened, matted, baldish looking spot into the back of your hair. If you fail to fix it, the entire illusion is shattered and everyone will look at you with a little crinkle of their nose. I think it is because getting out of bed and not smelling fresh are inevitably linked. I've seen it over and over and I've done it myself. It doesn't matter if you've showered. We are talking about the illusion here. And our job is to be in control of the illusion at all times. You are what you present. So we need to make sure we know what we are presenting.

I just saw a bed head illusion offender the other day and it occurred to me that perhaps people don't think to look at the back of their head so maybe they don't know it exists. Lord knows I often don't look at my ass in an attempt to pretend it isn't there. If I can't see it, it won't bother me. However, denial isn't always the best way to go lest you suddenly realize there is a giant hole in the butt of your pants or you have tell tale "authentic" bed head. Therefore, I thought it was time to address it. Officially. In this official blog.

Done.

Sometimes trends come out of necessity and sheer force of will. make it so.

Here's the thing. I seem to have a lot of pants in my closet that I'm not wearing because I haven't had them hemmed. I tend to get really excited by any pair of pants that will accommodate my thighs regardless of the length. Well with my own personal recession going on I haven't been able to pull the trigger on going to the dry cleaners. That and I can't decide what shoes to hem them to. It seems such a permanent decision and then the choice problem comes into play. So I think I am going to start a new trend of wearing pants that are slightly different lengths. Whether I decide to just cut them or get a needle and thread and sew them myself, the result will be the same: they will be uneven and look like the handy work of a five year old.

I am going to tell everyone "it's the new thing" If I just keep saying it is totally in and wear them with confidence, I think I can pull it off. Who knows, maybe lots of people will start wearing my new "unkempt hem look."

"OMG, I love your pants. Is that the new 'chewed' hem by Baby Tiger?"
"it is! Aren't they fantastic. Totally worth the tons of money I paid for them."
"I really like yours too. That hem is so unique."
"Thanks. I love that no two hems are alike. These even have different colored thread because she didn't have enough blue."
"It's a great look. I heard she only sews with hotel sewing kits."
"I know. So innovative."
"I wish I could not know how to sew like her."
"Me too."
"sigh"
"sigh"

Totally gonna do it.

Out of the blue and into the wild blue yonder

As I stared at the blank white walls of my apartment, it dawned on me that my lack of security deposit allows me a certain freedom that I am not taking advantage of. I am a firm believer in color and yet, here are my boring white walls staring back at me. This is shameful and ridiculous. The plumbers must think I'm the most boring person ever.

I swiftly decided two walls should be painted an amazing color. And a color I've not used before. Blue for calm serenity and creativity in the bedroom/office and dark Olive in the living room. Oh wait. I better wait and see what goes with my Piazza Sofa. Holding pattern. Just blue for the bedroom for today.

Done. Off to the paint store.

Holy Fuck.

Which blue is the right blue?

And here we have it, my weakness: The burden of CHOICE.

It is kind of a paradox because I am a very instinctual person. I often shop from the gut. When it comes to clothes or shoes this isn't difficult at all because I know I am not limited. However, when there is only one wall to paint blue, I freak out about it being the best blue of all time and the only way to be sure of that is to look at ALL of the the blues.

Grrrr

Wait, I know the blue I want but when it is surrounded by all the other blues it gets a little confusing. I know in this moment how tricky it must be to pick someone out of a line up. Oh, the pressure!

Ok, maybe I'll start with all the blues that are NOT the right blue. That will feel like I'm accomplishing something.

I don't want country blue or ice blue, or hampton blue, or baby blue, or true blue.
I'm really looking for maybe a robin's egg blue? or like a 1950's retro blue? Got anything like that?

Electric blue? No. Blue note? No. Bashful Blue? no.
Fairy tale Blue? Bahaman sea blue? Blue wave? Blue comfort? no. no. no. maybe.

Who comes up with these names anyway? I think I want that job.
Feelin' blue, blue balls, Prozac blue, held my breath too long blue, Alien blue, Krista's perfect blue.

Three hours later I am still muttering to myself in the paint aisle, talking myself out of the whole thing. I just can't commit.

Now I remember why my walls are still white.