Ok fine, fer sure fer sure, gag me and all that

I will admit I am a little concerned about this "return to the 80's" trend that has been happening and will continue through the fall.

Who ever saw that coming? I thought there was a universal agreement that it should never happen again.

While I remember the fashion was fun back then I am also alarmingly aware that it wasn't very flattering. There is a chance that my trepidation could be linked to the undeniable psychological link between fashion and emotion. 80's fashion trends may cause me to relive a whole bunch of teenage angst and insecurity that I would much rather leave behind. Perhaps I will rent Valley Girl to put me in the right emotional space for this trend. Freakin' love that movie.

And as I have always advocated trends are for picking and choosing so I will most likely pick the items that serve me well (colorful eye shadow, leggings and skirts, socks with mary janes and pumps) and leave behind the shoulder pads, stirrup pants and high-waisted jeans (my legs should never have been associated with them).

I was inspired by an eyeshadow palate the other day that I am going to go and try right now. Orange sparkly eyeshadow and purple liner.

I'm feeling better already.

Let's just be trends with benefits, ok?

So, purple is very in for fall. Everyone is talking about purple.

Purple purple purple.

For some reason purple isn't a color I wear (probably has something to do with the whole prominent vein situation). Purple and I parted ways a long while back. Now, I never said I wouldn't be seen with purple. I mean, we didn't break up or anything, we just didn't have any chemistry. So, you know, pfft.

But now I'm thinking I'd like to give it another go. Purple and I can't be totally on the outs forever. Can we?

Let's be clear about this: I'm not suddenly into purple just because it is "in" for fall. I don't jump on every trend trolley that swings through town. However, because it is "in," it is everywhere and now it is in my style consciousness. I daydream about me and purple hanging out, possibly going to a party. The inherent virtue of purple is why I want to reexamine my relationship with purple. It has nothing to do with popularity.

Oh, let's face it. I'm susceptible to the siren song of collective desire.

What's a girl to do? There has to be some way I can work this out.

I think I'm going to start a small flirtation, maybe eyeliner and shoes; a casual coffee drink together. If all goes well perhaps we'll heat things up with some eggplant colored pants; perchance we shall get a little drunk together. Could be fun.

But listen, I'm not looking for anything serious so don't get too clingy. I'm going to be honest, I still have a thing going with orange and gold. No hurt feelings right?

The many virtues of the legging

I am a huge fan of the leggings comeback. I remember loving them back in college and pairing them with the most giant sweaters one has ever seen. Not my finest moment but at least I have a chance to redeem myself.

Leggings really give new life to the sundresses I feel awkward wearing with a bare leg. Sometimes you feel a little more veiny than usual or your knees feel fat or you have weird bruises all over or you didn't have time to shave. Leggings. That's the answer. They have the added benefit of making you feel a little like a dancer. And dancers are really fit so that's cool. Leggings are also cooler than jeans so you can wear a pants dress look even on the hottest of days. Additionally, and I'm not sure why this is but, you can wear a shorter skirt with leggings than you can without. There are some really cute skirts out there that are now possible. Fantastic. I mean truly, leggings are the new tan.

"let's face it. legginged fat is better than pasty white fat."

I hear lululemon has leggings that go great under clothes but also double as a workout pant. Actually, I have heard numerous times that lululemon pants are magical but I refuse to try them on until I can afford to be addicted to $95 workout pants because we all know that they are one try on away from becoming my newest obsession. Thank goodness Forever 21 has leggings for $5 and since I workout at home, I could wear them for that if I wanted to.
Some day lululemon. Some day.

Dear Diary,
Today I saw leggings
that looked like denim.
They even had pockets
painted on the butt. I
guess the effect is the
tightest “jeans” you
have ever owned but
you don’t have to lay on
the bed to zip them up.
I’m not sure how I feel
about that. I believe
tight jeans should
require a little work.

Sometimes trends come out of necessity and sheer force of will. make it so.

Here's the thing. I seem to have a lot of pants in my closet that I'm not wearing because I haven't had them hemmed. I tend to get really excited by any pair of pants that will accommodate my thighs regardless of the length. Well with my own personal recession going on I haven't been able to pull the trigger on going to the dry cleaners. That and I can't decide what shoes to hem them to. It seems such a permanent decision and then the choice problem comes into play. So I think I am going to start a new trend of wearing pants that are slightly different lengths. Whether I decide to just cut them or get a needle and thread and sew them myself, the result will be the same: they will be uneven and look like the handy work of a five year old.

I am going to tell everyone "it's the new thing" If I just keep saying it is totally in and wear them with confidence, I think I can pull it off. Who knows, maybe lots of people will start wearing my new "unkempt hem look."

"OMG, I love your pants. Is that the new 'chewed' hem by Baby Tiger?"
"it is! Aren't they fantastic. Totally worth the tons of money I paid for them."
"I really like yours too. That hem is so unique."
"Thanks. I love that no two hems are alike. These even have different colored thread because she didn't have enough blue."
"It's a great look. I heard she only sews with hotel sewing kits."
"I know. So innovative."
"I wish I could not know how to sew like her."
"Me too."
"sigh"
"sigh"

Totally gonna do it.

WTF on the skinny jeans thing?

Skinny jeans are a phenomenon that must go away and go away soon. I've been patient. I've tried to see their value in the fashion world. I've even waited to see if I would turn the corner and become a convert. Things I initially hate I sometimes end up loving. I admit it.

Not this time.

And now I am resentful of the large portion of the pants market they have taken up. They are everywhere. An otherwise cute pair of pants ruined by a hole so small you can barely get your foot through. A giant neon "look how big my thighs are" sign pointing upward from the ankle.

Skinny jeans must go.

I feel very alone in my quest to rid the world of skinny jeans. I've been to the mall. I've seen it over and over again. People are being led astray by this trend. They are being manufactured by the zillions. Every season I think "come on. everyone must have caught on by now" But no.

Skinny jeans are oddly incongruous. They don't make anyone look skinny. They are not flattering even on skinny people. And for those less fortunate than the perfectly thin, they give you an inverted cone shape that cannot be denied. Don't even try. Didn't we all learn this lesson from our 80's stint of rolling the bottom of our jeans tight to the ankle? It was a mistake. We are supposed to learn from, not repeat them.

I imagine that skinny jeans were invented so skinny girls could see what it feels like to have fat thighs and a big butt. The illusion is such that no matter how thin you are, these jeans make your butt look big. I hate to be harsh but the truth must be told. You don't have a big butt, but your pants are saying you do.

Pencil pants- great. Straight leg - fine. Sturrup pants - please help me, don't come back but at least you aren't skinny jeans.

This is, of course, only my opinion. However, I am not wrong.

To bubble skirt or not to bubble skirt...that is the question

A girl walked into the restaurant last night wearing a bright blue, mini bubble skirt with a tight black top and black heels. She was young and cute and on a date. However brave she might have been, there was no denying that she wasn't so much wearing the bubble as the bubble was wearing her. It was quite a head turning look, but sadly, for all the wrong reasons. One of the boys said to me:

"Now that is a faux pas, right? Or is that really a trend?"
"oh no, that is definitely a trend. One of the 80's comeback fashions."

For those of you that need a reminder see below.

I find it is key to remember that just because something is a trend, doesn't mean it is a trend for me.

It is useful advice really. Following a trend blindly can lead you down a precarious path.

Know thyself.

I (painfully) had to skip an entire year of shopping at H&M because everything was for the flat of chest. The cutest waif like clothes ever. I wanted to be that girl (and I do often shop for her) but my BFF, dressing room mirror, continually reminded me that, alas, I am not.

There are plenty of cute, fun fashions out there. Don't pick something you can't back up. If you can't fully envision and step into the persona of that trend then you won't be able to pull it off. People like your clothes because of HOW you wear them more than the clothes themselves.

Pushing your own style envelope is encouraged but requires an attitude that matches whatever you put on. Otherwise you are just giving the wrong message.

Timing is also important. I've pre-picked outfits for certain events and when it came time to put them on, I just wasn't in the right mindset. You have to be able to shift gears and wear what you are in the mood for. It makes a huge difference in how your night goes.

One last thing:
Use your friends. They are invaluable. I send pictures if I can't get in person feedback. If you think your friends won't give it to you straight or can't see beyond their own taste in order to give you solid advice, please contact me.

I'm here to help.
kristalally@gmail.com