Bed Head: Navigating illusion and reality

Bed Head has both negative and positive connotations. I have spent many hours creating the illusion of messy "just woke up" hair. The whole genre has been elevated to an art form. There are tons of products to help me in this undertaking, not the least of which is my new new found love, hair powder. Hair powder has the dual purpose of creating texture while also absorbing oil and getting rid of any of the negative aspects of actual bed head.

There are several reasons not to wash your hair every single day:

• protecting your color
• time constraints
• it looks better
  
• laziness

I'm working on a combo platter of at least two of these at all times.

Here's the thing, the trick to never letting anyone know the reality of your bed head is looking at the back of your skull. You MUST, must must take a mirror and look. When you sleep on your hair (and I think most of us do), you inevitably rub a flattened, matted, baldish looking spot into the back of your hair. If you fail to fix it, the entire illusion is shattered and everyone will look at you with a little crinkle of their nose. I think it is because getting out of bed and not smelling fresh are inevitably linked. I've seen it over and over and I've done it myself. It doesn't matter if you've showered. We are talking about the illusion here. And our job is to be in control of the illusion at all times. You are what you present. So we need to make sure we know what we are presenting.

I just saw a bed head illusion offender the other day and it occurred to me that perhaps people don't think to look at the back of their head so maybe they don't know it exists. Lord knows I often don't look at my ass in an attempt to pretend it isn't there. If I can't see it, it won't bother me. However, denial isn't always the best way to go lest you suddenly realize there is a giant hole in the butt of your pants or you have tell tale "authentic" bed head. Therefore, I thought it was time to address it. Officially. In this official blog.

Done.

For the sake of argument...

Flat hair and straight hair are simply not the same thing and while we are not on the subject, honey could very well be classified as a controlled substance and someone should call the DEA on me right now.

Stat.

Mortally wounded

Here's something you don't want to hear:

"I'm really liking the way my hair is now. It's very Thomas Jefferson."

That was Newshead. I waited for the laugh. It never came. I scoured his words for even a hint of sarcasm. Nothing.

I mean seriously, what am I supposed to do with that? I try to be open minded and supportive of most choices but I'm sorry, you're not supposed to look like Thomas Jefferson unless you are actually playing Thomas Jefferson.

It is almost like he hates me.

Some period hairstyles fall into the category of "Retro" or "vintage" and it works. 1776 doesn't happen to be one of those periods.

Gwen Stefani has it down. It works. Mormon polygamists? Nope. Sometimes the rules aren't hard and fast. You just have to have a feel for it.

Even if he was trying to sell it to me as "Thomas Jeffersonesque" or a "modern day TJ," but no, it is straight up Thomas Jefferson.

I think I'm going to cry.

Hair Mantra

Hair is for changing.
Hair is one of the greatest forms of expression.
Hair grows therfore it should not be a prison.
Hair is important and unimportant at the same time.
Hair = crowning glory.
Hair can make or break a day.
A bad hair day can sink a thousand ships.
A signature hairstyle is not your only hairstyle.
Hair products are your friend.
Don't dismiss the idea of a hair product cocktail. That is not excessive.
Hats can hide a multitude of sins and keep you looking fashionable.
Rapunzel and Medusa. Different looks. Powerful hair.

Krista's summer vacation pt. 1

I was given an unpaid and unexpected vacation!

From the internet.

I was gone for almost a week and let me tell you, it was something.

I can't wait to tell you all about it.

It sucked. What a crappy vacation.

I don't think I would choose to go back. I do have a fabulous iphone but let's face it, it isn't a computer so I had to keep everything to the necessities. Which essentially means I read my emails and then forgot to answer most of them because I wasn't really able to type back an appropriately verbose response. I hit Rose's internet cafe once (thankfully it was open late) but it isn't the same as using your own computer (it isn't my own bed, my own pajamas etc.) and it is really distracting when you are surrounded by cute clothes, wedding plans, and fun chit chat. Web surfing is really a solitary sport.

In the end, it turned out alright. I got a lot out of it and I tried to pretend it was really freeing or whatever people say to sound cup half full and stuff.

Well enough of the whining. Mercury and its lingering retrograde effects should finally be gone for awhile. I read that on astrologyzone.com before my brownout for anyone whose keeping track.

Here are some things I accomplished/discovered while on vacation:

If there is anyone who doesn't clip shit out of magazines everytime you read them you should really start. Why? Because it is fun. You can keep a file of inspiring or striking things and go through them when your internet is down.

I have a picture of Kate Moss from the August 2008 Vogue issue. I liked her hair. So I attempted to recreate it on my own head. It really turned out to be more "reminicent of" than a "recreation of" but whatever, that still counts and it made for a "very special" Tuesday night at work.

You will notice that Kate is in a limo while I am not. I believe the difference ends there.

I also discovered the Camera Bag application on my iphone. Truly the greatest. I'm in love with their many hip and beautiful filters. My self portrait above has the "Helga" filter on it. I look way cooler with it.

More on my vacation adventures to follow. There really is too much to put in one blog entry.

As you can see it was an exciting whirlwind of a time.

Although I am glad to be back.