I'm not uniform

In general, I am anti-uniform. I truly believe that uniforms stamp out individuality and that is a crime. Expressing yourself through your clothing is pretty much what I am all about. I think being dressed like everyone else makes you feel helpless and defeated.
Ok, I'm not going to lie, the real reason I hate uniforms is because uniforms hate me.
They started it.

I personally do not have a figure for uniforms (none of them). Every uniform known to man makes my thighs look bigger, my legs look shorter, my ass gigantic, it just plain brings out all of my worst qualities and to make matters worse there is always that stupid bitch who looks amazing in whatever potato sack she's given. PS and by the way, that stupid bitch is usually my friend and is therefore constantly standing next to me like a giant neon "I'm with fatty" sign.
My greatest fear is being in one of those "Who Wore it Best" features. Ugh.

That being said, I'm not thrilled with the burden of freedom that I have at my new job. I know, I'm very hard to please, but hear me out. As a waitress you have some interesting obstacles when it comes to choosing clothing. You need something that represents who you are and yet can withstand the constant threat of destruction. Can you love your clothes and yet be willing to let them go when they are attacked by red wine, sweat and bleach? I'm not that evolved. That kind of thinking really goes against my hoarding instincts. Shoe options are restricted to comfortable which creates an interesting obstacle. Everything has to look good with or without an apron. On the plus side, I think aprons are flattering and I'm considering incorporating them into my non-work fashion.

I was a huge fan of the "all black" dress code at my last restaurant because
a) black is flattering
b) black hides a mess
c) I had specific work clothes which eliminated difficult decisions and piles of discarded outfits
d) All black looked like a uniform but with none of the drawbacks of an actual uniform (see above)

There isn't anything saying I can't wear all black at my new job.
But somehow that feels like cheating. I mean, I am a style therapist. I have a reputation to consider.
And what would I do with all the things I just bought "ya know, for work."

I'm all mixed up

So today I was making bracelets and I've decided the word of the season is "mixed." That is correct. Mixed media, mixed texture, mixed material, mixed style, mixed genre.

For example:
Tough and Girlie
Masculine and Feminine
Ugly/ Pretty
So ugly it's pretty with it's just ugly
casual with dressy
something old something new, something plain and something completely garish
Hippie crossed with polished
Vintage with a modern twist

There are tons. Life is too short to be just one thing. Mix it up people. This isn't just for ladies either. Boys can mix. Fashion invention is fun for everyone.

If you need help or more ideas, call me.

Back to school really has nothing to do with school

I've always loved fall. Back to School is my favorite time of year and my favorite fashion season. Now, I haven't been back to school of several years (decades) but that doesn't change my desire for all new back to school clothes or at the very least a retooling of my current wardrobe. Fall signals a great chance to reinvent yourself. You can leave behind "summer you" and take on a whole new persona. Boots, tights, blazers, cardigans, tweed, trousers, and my favorite look of all time: layers and a scarf. There is nothing better.

Another great thing about fall is the ability to make up for any style regrets that you had over the summer. I really wanted to make dresses a huge part of my wardrobe. That didn't really happen. However, I can carry this goal over into fall. Add some leggings/tights and boots and I can kiss regret goodbye. It is really a wasted emotion anyway. Plus there is always next summer to revisit the summer frock idea.

I never think of Fall as an end but rather a beginning. Perhaps it is the new school year that is so ingrained. I believe there is a definite connection between "following your bliss" (thank you Joseph Campbell) and style. How you adorn your outside is a reflection of how much you love your inside. I cannot emphasize this enough. No one dictates the specifics except you. The result is individual and does not require specific labels or an enormous expenditure. You simply have to find what speaks to you. Having a vision for yourself is important. If you visualize success, serenity and abundance for your life, you are going to have to have an outfit to match.

The hardest part about this time of year is that the actual weather doesn't match the clothes. September signals an automatic shift in fashion consciousness and yet blazing hot, 100 degree weather makes it impractical to actually wear your favorite back to school looks.

It is the in betweens that make for the hardest style choices. As always, I welcome a challenge.

In a land far far away but really very close and not far at all

I just had one of those moments where you catch a glimpse of yourself in an alternate universe or played the "what could have been" game.

I just watched that show, Hoarders, and I'm pretty sure somewhere in another dimension, behind the seventh veil or in dejavuville, I am on that show. People are watching me in horror and my family is giving sad and frustrated testimonials. Actually, probably only my mom would do it. Everyone else would decline to be on camera.

I must admit I feel a little itchy after watching the show. I'm pretty sure I can't watch it again because my COMPLETE understanding of the hoarders attachment to their things and their anthropomorphizing of their stuff made Newshead nervous. I could relate to the rationalization for keeping each item: "Oh that's a gift. That's a journal. That goes over here with the other 250 blank journals. Those are crosswords that I'm going to do."

Seriously, all the plans and good intentions for each item was eerily familiar. I was not the least bit surprised by their ability to recognize every little thing that was held before them, that in all that stuff (piles and piles of it) they never once said "I don't know what that is or where it came from." There is a story and a thought about everything, so of course it is hard to get rid of anything. I totally get it.

I usually am an advocate of the "who cares what people think" school of thought. This is one time where I think it helps. But I guess in fairness you have to not be crazy to know that it is kind of crazy.

I'm constantly looking around my apartment and picturing the person who has to go through my stuff if Newshead & I suddenly die. Why I would care, I don't know, but I do.
My goal is to keep the WTF moments to a minimum.

Right now I've organized all the unorganizable stuff into a "craft" section. I know they are a million little jars of madness but to the unknowing eye, I'm a crafter. That's nicer for my sister and/or brother to have to clean up. You are welcome.

Here's the thing. Hoarders wouldn't have to give up their stuff if it were better displayed. Stores have tons of shit and people love going there. Dare I say that once again it comes down to style?

And mental illness.
But also style.

Who are you calling shallow?

Got into an argument/discussion today about the importance of style. If you buy into the idea that some people "don't care about fashion and how they look" because they care more about other things, you are naive.

You are your own canvas. Your style is a reflection of what is going on inside you.

The thing is we are all selling something different and as a result we all advertise differently. Those folks care just as much. They are making decisions about their style based on the image they want to project just like their counterparts. They are saying "I'm an artist" or "I'm not shallow" or "I'm so not pretentious" or "I'm too busy to care about how I look." And everyone has a personality that backs up their advertising. To say that so and so "doesn't think about what they put on and doesn't care because they are so into such and such" is ridiculous. They must have thought something when they bought those clothes. I've said it before and I'll say it again: "Clothes don't just happen to you, you are an active participant."

On the same note, caring about how you look doesn't equal being shallow or materialistic. Those are personality traits not style. To assume such is buying in to a stereotype.

I watched a homeless woman pick through some clothes I left by my dumpster. She didn't just take everything. She chose what she wanted.

I'm not going to lie. I was a little hurt by some of the items she discarded.

Wanted: the strength of 10,000 men

Seeking confidence and strength.

Need a good outfit to go and confront my boss or, more accurately, the person who is below my boss and then possibly my boss. Need outfit to say "I'm serious about this" but not too confrontational right off the bat. Need outfit to be appealing but not sexy like "I'm trying to sleep with you to solve this problem." Need outfit to be understated but not dismissed. Need outfit to make me look strong but not fat; skinny but not frail. Need outfit to make me feel comfortable and possibly comforted depending on how this goes. Need outfit to have a layer to hide sweat marks. Need padded bra in case it is cold. Need outfit to say "I'm a professional hard working person that you will be sorry to lose" while at the same time say "I'm not afraid of you and I don't really care." Need outfit to hold up to the devil's stare.

Fuck, I really don't have the right shoes for this.

On the evolution of style, pt. deux

Somewhere in the middle of college I went through a "it's cool to look low maintenance" phase. Looking back this was the biggest blot on my reputation as a person of taste. Talk about dampening my style and softening all my edges. Ugh.

Here's the thing. I didn't want to seem into my looks. That kind of vanity was beneath a serious artist like myself. I was going for some kind of "natural, effortless" thing.

Of course, I really really worked hard at it. At some point I just stopped getting my hair cut and let it grow like a not really curly, not really straight weed. My clothing style incorporated a vacillation between androgynous and anything with a flower print. Most notably, everything I wore was baggy in a misguided attempt to look thin (as evidenced by the lovely people who insist on putting pictures of me on facebook, really, must you???).

I strategically applied makeup to look like I wasn't wearing any. I was way before my time with the "no makeup makeup" look. Yeah, I saved the big makeup guns for the stage where I over-applied like a champ.

The weird, depressive narcissist that I wasted my last semester on, broke up with me the day before my graduation. Nice. So in all of my pictures I look like a sad, chubby, mountain of blonde hair in a baggy, flower print dress.

I went back to my parents' house and cried for four days straight. When I finally looked in the mirror, I was horrified by what I had become. So far from my former, sparkling glory (and when I say sparkling, I do mean that literally. There were lots of sparkles).

The very next day I started doing step aerobics, got my hair cut off and bought clothes in a style I had never owned before (thank you Nordstrom Jrs). I kissed that boring sad sack goodbye and never looked back (again, the facebook thing, not helpful).

When my ex attempted a re-entry into my life, I stared at him through my brand new eyes that donned a color that practically screamed "I'm wearing makeup" and had the confidence to act like I barely remembered who he was.

There are no do overs. Only onward and upward.

With better hair and better style.

Ballgowns any day of the week. Make it so.

I was looking at this fabulous website, Rock 'n Roll Bride, that Heath passed along to me. The pictures are fantastic and have inspired me add to my lofty list: learn how to take pictures that have great contrast and amazing colors.

http://www.rocknrollbride.com/

I love themes. Weddings that have a theme are so fantastic. My wedding was gorgeous and lovely and fantastic and really did reflect us but I don't think I had a strong enough theme. Especially my hair (what was I thinking and why didn't I splurge on some fabulous hair pieces?)

Well since that ship has sailed for me I was thinking, instead of looking with envy at these pictures why don't I think of another way to use that energy.

So here's my thinking, why can't every day have a theme? I don't believe in having the same look all the time and I like to change it up but why not up the ante a little and really go for it? Why wait for special occasions?

I remember how liberating it felt when I decided I could eat off of my fancy dessert plates any time I felt like it. (What was I saving them for?)

Why am I waiting for special events to wear some of my cutest things? No mas! I'm going to visit one of my style icons, Jessie Rae Baker, this afternoon which will provide further inspiration and solidify my new focus. I can't wait to see what she is wearing.

This actually ties into a saving problem I have that is closely tied to the hoarding thing but I'll explore that with you later.

No time now.
I have to come up with a cute outfit for today.