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The power of suggestion is amazing. I had brushed my teeth. No intention of eating again this evening. I start reading Jessica's blog about baking and of course I want baked goods. No surprise there. Her pictures are amazing. But I don't have any baked goods in the house.
I'm no fool.

Well eventually it gets to me and I go into the kitchen and eat toast with honey. It certainly isn't a gourmet cupcake or a flipping chocolate croissant (I would kill for one of those) but it's bread and that is the closest thing I have.

Rose just called and bemoaned that she had Mexican food two nights in a row and ate the chips.

I'm eating tortilla chips as I type.

Cruel cruel world.

The ancient art of shopping

Tomorrow is a shopping day. Rose is still on the hunt for silver pumps and Tracy and I are only too happy to oblige. Serious, mission oriented shopping is nothing to sneeze at and there many important considerations. Shopping outfits for one. Comfort and simplicity are of the utmost importance. Comfort because I'm likely to be out for the length of an entire work day and simplicity because trying things on shouldn't be a complicated affair. Shoes with lots of buckles would be cumbersome and any outfit that is difficult to reassemble in a tiny dressing room would just be an unnecessary hassle. The opposite is true if you are actually trying not to fall in love with anything. Then by all means make it as difficult as possible. In certain situations you need to be prepared to try things on over your clothes so I try not to wear anything too bulky. One of the hardest outfits to put together is the perfect shopping outfit. It requires a certain amount of endurance and yet must retain the proper level of happy making cuteness. Also don't forget to bring a sweater for later in the evening and a comfortable purse is a MUST.

Oh I have more tips. Read on.

The proper level of hydration is an important consideration. If shopping in an area where bathrooms are a rarity, you must go before you leave and stop drinking as soon as you do. This is the one time I will say leave that water bottle at home. You should strategically find some water when you are out (about 30 minutes before you anticipate finding a restroom). If you have dips in energy that will prove a liability or will thwart your mission, you MUST bring a snack. Or take some drugs. Almonds, string cheese, caffeine, whatever. I don't suggest candy. Trust me when I say, a Mike and Ike sugar crash is not what you need when you are thinking about making a purchase. That never ends well.

It is key to remember that there are a lot of annoying people out there in the shopping world. You must not let them get to you. Use affirmations or deep breathing or whatever works for you. Don't engage in their crabbiness or their weird competitive shopping rituals. Remember shopping is a sport but it isn't a competitive one. There is always going to be more stuff and more deals and nothing is worth ruining a pleasant day.

When Love Hurts

I was wearing some great shoes today. I love them. I had a plan to elevate my simple jeans and t-shirt thing with an interesting shoe choice. It made me happy.

Until they started to hurt. I was off in my calculations (how hot it is going to be x how much walking x how long I'm going to be out). It was too hot and therefore blisterville came earlier than I expected.

Luckily my last stop was the shoe store. I was on a mission for others today (yes I do shop for other people as well as myself). Kim needed to replace a brand new pair of yellow patent leather t-strap cuties that the neighbor's dog chewed (ouch!) and Rose is on the lookout for silver pumps. So, if the pain got to be too much, I was in the perfect place to remedy my situation.

I hobbled my way into the store (I never realized how long that walk was from the parking lot to the door). I immediately took my own shoes off. Which is weird when you aren't actually trying anything on yet but what are they going to say?

"No shoes. No service"

That wouldn't make any sense.

I made my way to the clearance section to see if any magic was going to happen. There really is nothing better than finding an expensive, beautiful, perfect pair of shoes that match the exact mood you are in with a 70% off sticker on them. Or finding a needle in a haystack as is the case with Kim's shoes.

Unfortunately today wasn't a magical day of gasps, sparkles and unicorns. In fact, there wasn't anything that made my heart skip a beat.

I began to look for an inexpensive but cute pair of flip flops to wear home and wouldn't you know it, there wasn't anything under $25.00.

Now, I love shoes. I love lots of things but I don't take any of it lightly. When I was little I loved my new shoes so much I would wear them to bed. I am of the mind that I simply cannot spend money on anything that doesn't make me feel like that. If I don't REALLY love it, if I wouldn't wear it or take it to bed, then I can't get it. No matter how much it is. And today's situation was especially stressful because I needed to be so sure about my choice that I would wear it out of the store, hence rendering it unreturnable. No room for doubt.

This poses a problem when you are standing in a sea of shoes with blistered feet and you can't find anything that fits that criteria. I couldn't spend $25.00 on a pair of flip flops when really all I needed was a bandaid.

After going around the store for a third time (I couldn't quite comprehend the fact that in this huge store there wasn't one pair I would take to bed with me), I came upon a pair of flats that looked eco-friendly (you know the style) and great for fall. They were super comfortable and I kind of loved them. I got excited but then as I was walking up to the register I started second guessing my motives. Was I talking myself into this choice out of necessity and pain or did I really love them? I became paralyzed for a moment. I started to wonder if I would just stay in the store forever, trapped by my own cluster fuck of indecision, self doubt and my inability to walk.

Eventually I started to get exasperated and annoyed with myself.

The only way to know if I love the shoes is to wait until I am out of desperation's clawing grip. I could

a) leave them there and hobble home
or
b) buy them and hobble home.

I'm staring at them right now. I can't wait to see how we feel about each other in the morning.

I know what you are thinking but I'm doing it anyway.

I had a dream I was waiting on the Obamas.

Me: Hi, how are you? What can I get for you this evening?
President Obama: Hello, Krista. (huh, they know my name now) Well, what will you be having?
Me: (terribly impressed at the invite) Oh, thank you! I'm really not very hungry tonight.
President Obama: Now come on.
Me: Oh you know it is back to school time so I'm really watching it, plus I'm feeling really puffy today (at this point I streatched out my arm and pinched the lunch lady fat under my tricep)

Everyone at the table chuckled with understanding and then Michelle Obama ordered the low cal plate (hamburger patty with a scoop of cottage cheese and canned peaches) and President Obama ordered the fish special as a complete dinner (tapioca instead of rice pudding). Why they were regulars at a diner in Carol Stream, I will never know but apparently they were.

Then I told my assistant (uh huh) to get them whatever they needed because I was excited to go and chat with my friend Kristina who surprised us with a visit and she had a sassy new haircut. It was a shorter version of the haircut I had freshman year of high school and it looked really cute.

Now I know that people say no one wants to hear about your dreams (jonathan) especially if they aren't in them (rose) but this one seemed really important.

Plus, I'm a rule breaker.

Krista's summer vacation pt. 1

I was given an unpaid and unexpected vacation!

From the internet.

I was gone for almost a week and let me tell you, it was something.

I can't wait to tell you all about it.

It sucked. What a crappy vacation.

I don't think I would choose to go back. I do have a fabulous iphone but let's face it, it isn't a computer so I had to keep everything to the necessities. Which essentially means I read my emails and then forgot to answer most of them because I wasn't really able to type back an appropriately verbose response. I hit Rose's internet cafe once (thankfully it was open late) but it isn't the same as using your own computer (it isn't my own bed, my own pajamas etc.) and it is really distracting when you are surrounded by cute clothes, wedding plans, and fun chit chat. Web surfing is really a solitary sport.

In the end, it turned out alright. I got a lot out of it and I tried to pretend it was really freeing or whatever people say to sound cup half full and stuff.

Well enough of the whining. Mercury and its lingering retrograde effects should finally be gone for awhile. I read that on astrologyzone.com before my brownout for anyone whose keeping track.

Here are some things I accomplished/discovered while on vacation:

If there is anyone who doesn't clip shit out of magazines everytime you read them you should really start. Why? Because it is fun. You can keep a file of inspiring or striking things and go through them when your internet is down.

I have a picture of Kate Moss from the August 2008 Vogue issue. I liked her hair. So I attempted to recreate it on my own head. It really turned out to be more "reminicent of" than a "recreation of" but whatever, that still counts and it made for a "very special" Tuesday night at work.

You will notice that Kate is in a limo while I am not. I believe the difference ends there.

I also discovered the Camera Bag application on my iphone. Truly the greatest. I'm in love with their many hip and beautiful filters. My self portrait above has the "Helga" filter on it. I look way cooler with it.

More on my vacation adventures to follow. There really is too much to put in one blog entry.

As you can see it was an exciting whirlwind of a time.

Although I am glad to be back.