Itsy bitsy

It is summer again and the catalogs all have bathing suits aplenty!

This is one of my favorite times of year. I love pouring over magazines, websites and catalogs carefully picking out bathing suits that I will NEVER buy, much less wear.

This year I'm picking a retro 1950's deal
Norma Kamali "Bill" and a less expensive version from Kimchi Blue at Urban Outfitters.


I haven't owned a bathing suit for 15 years. I have successfully structured my life to avoid the necessity. I don't swim, I don't tan (a conclusion finally reached after years of wearing baby oil and baking in the sun), I don't surf or boogie board or go anywhere or do anything that would necessitate wearing a bathing suit. I simply don't.

I used to swim a lot. I took lessons. I could do flips off the high dive. I actually advanced very quickly and was ready to qualify for my life guard certification but I was only 10. Unfortunately as I got older it was hello puberty, contacts, vanity/self consciousness and goodbye swimming.

I did the rounds with the makeshift swimsuit. You know, long shorts and a tank top (neither actually meant for swimming), I tried a "swimming dress" that never made it out of the house, board shorts and a sports bra (again not really made for water as much as I had thought). I once found myself in Hawaii for a job and with people I would never see again so I bought a $20 suit from a kiosk that disintegrated after 2 wears (the disposable suit).

I am also very attracted to the swimsuit coverup. Very cute with some flip flops and a nice pedicure. However, this look only really makes sense if you are near water. Maybe I should try it this year.

Who am I kidding?

"Know thyself."

I truly do not feel like I am missing anything by not going to the beach.

I'm older and wiser now and let's face it, I'm defeated. For me, wearing a swimsuit promises to be a day full of regret and self loathing. Why subject myself to that? I have way more fun things to do and wear. I also know that with my transparent skin tone, a day at the beach is like an open invitation to go to third base with melanoma. Why bother? My best course of action is to incorporate a swim suit cover up, SPF 500 and a wide brim hat into an outfit and then have lunch on the patio under an umbrella.

Now that sounds like a lovely day.