Friday, April 30, 2010

When focus = obsession = spending

My focus this past month has been on skin care as my skin has been having a tragical time of it. This is possibly due to a hormonal upheaval which is possibly due to the fact that my recent birthday puts me firmly on the threshold of a new decade. My skin care regime now involves anti-aging, wrinkle repair, moisturizing, and acne wrangling. Oh yes, it is a delicate balance and a tricky tightrope to maneuver indeed.

This momentous birthday came with the overall intention to focus on my health and skin which in my mind will stave off any depression over not being 21 anymore.

Of course with me any new focus usually involves spending money on crazy things that will help me keep focused. Despite my knowledge of my ridiculousness I participate in it anyway.
It's not cool but it's the truth.

I've returned to the school of Perricone because ultimately I know he is right. Cleaner eating helps your insides and your outsides. That and while I was at the Planet Beauty looking for zit medicine I got sucked back into his vortex of expensive products that promise beautiful skin. But not in a miracle, magical way. More in a "you really have to eat right, take care of yourself AND spend a shitload of money" kind of way.

I'm currently waiting for my sample of Cold Plasma that I found online for only $10. It is regularly a really expensive product so finding a sample was a big deal. I realize that if I fall in love with it I will be looking at a really tough decision. But apparently "if you only use one product, this is it." That's what the girl at Planet Beauty told me anyway (genius name btw, who wouldn't want to live on a planet of beauty. I would love to commute between there and Planet Unicorn).

Of course while I was on the site I had to buy "Skin Clear" Supplements because that is my problem right now and it seemed like it was made just for me and what I am going through at this moment. It's like google whispers in my ear and says "hey girl, don't fret. We have just what you need." The siren song continued: "Hey, we know you are feeling a little tired and are always looking for an energy boost. Why not try a little of this?" So yes, I also bought something called PEP too. So my super cheap $10 "find" turned something a little more expensive.

But hey, it's all in the name of health...and good skin.
And vanity.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Ripped from the headlines of my life

John: You were missed on Easter. We did nothing.

Me: Went to the farmers market on Easter. Bought some crazy super juice with alfalfa hoping it would be life changing. It's sitting in the fridge.

John: Juice is never good. I once threw a jamba juice from the car… I just knew it wouldn’t change anything.

Monday, April 26, 2010

I'm a Lady

I was at a stoplight and crossing in front of me was a cross dresser. Now, I can COMPLETELY understand why a man might want to dress in women's clothing. Women have fantastic options. "Sky's the limit" variety and so much more latitude than men have. Bearing that in mind, I ask you, obvious man in women's clothing, WHY???? Why, did you choose THAT? (I am using caps because I am, in fact, screaming).

I mean really, forget that you have the worst, scraggly, almost to the shoulder, please get some highlights, filthy dishwater hair. Let's just forget the "comfy" old sandals. Forget that you have a 5 o'clock shadow. Forget that you are a man. Forget all of that.

Why are you wearing an oversized, women's, polka dot, sailorish style blouse with a HUGE bib type collar on top of a shapeless, elastic waist, to the ankle skirt (I am surmising about the waist given what I can see coming out of the horrifying top that hits at the worst part of the hip).


There is so much to pick from. Our clothes are awesome and I bet you feel more like your true self in them. Whatever.


So either do this better or wear your own sex's clothes. I am not kidding.
I feel you can do less harm in them given the inherent limitations of men's clothing.

Why why why don't I carry my phone with the camera mode on at all times? I am so mad at myself. So I guess, man in the worst choice of girl clothes ever, we are both a little wrong today. I think I have learned. I fear that you, however, are a lost cause.
(that is, unless I see you again).

ps: I love you Little Britain. I love you.