Thursday, October 8, 2009

Will wonders never cease

I find it fascinating what clothes people take to the dry cleaners. Obviously people bring items that are important or fancy or are things that require special care. I have even taken shirts that I am too lazy to iron (I kind of suck at ironing) but they are nicer shirts that don't look right all "just rolled out of bed" wrinkled.

Today I saw a giant, bright pink Smurf t-shirt on a hanger covered in plastic.

Well, of course. You wouldn't want it to fade or the silk screening to crack. You have to protect that shit cuz you can't find smurf t-shirts anymore. It is like a vintage concert t-shirt. It has meaning and sentimentality. It brings you back. To those wild times. Those wild smurf watching times.

It was all by itself (they must have made a special trip) so I couldn't see what other clothes they felt worthy of dry cleaning.

It was grumpy smurf. He's so funny, that little blue guy with his arms all crossed.

I was dying to see who it belonged to. I waited in my car for awhile but they never showed up. I really want to know everything about them. Where do they wear it? When did they get it? How did it become such an important piece? Do they have others?


This will haunt me for awhile.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Double edge sword

Why is something that is so good and kind of good for you so so so bad at the same time?
Curse you cashew trail mix.
Curse you.
Your quantity is killing me.

Monday, October 5, 2009

I double dare you.

Everyone has their own quirks and a private list of things they won't allow themselves to wear because of a specific area they are microscopically obsessed with. I'm not saying it is right (or rational) I'm saying it exists. It can't just be me.

As my areas of scrutiny begin to shift with my age I am determined to let one weird obsession go for every one I take on. I mean seriously, I can't just add nonsense. That would be crazy. So I'm bartering. If I'm going to analyze the crepe-like skin on my arm, I have to give up obsessing about the plucked chicken look of the skin on my legs. I do have to dare myself to wear different things, like a dress with bare legs. Now I do wear boots with it so my leg isn't entirely bare but still, I was showing an entirely different part of my leg. No portion of my thighs have seen the sun since the early 80's so imagine their shock when I wore cut off jean shorts (SHORTS!) with boots. And imagine how pale.


And yet, it was oddly liberating.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

The more you know...

I worked for 14 hours at a charity event and by the time I got home I wanted to burn everything I was wearing.
No outfit can sustain that kind of time. I can't wear something all day long and into the evening without getting completely sick of it. It actually makes me angry.
Now I don't need to switch as much as they do at the Oscars but I do have a limit. As cute as my outfit starts out, it always loses it's sheen about halfway through a long day.

Over wearing is a danger that no one really talks about. Until now.
I'm not afraid to speak out. I am here to warn you that once you max out, you may never wear that outfit again. And that is a tragedy.

My favorite magazine feature is the "How to take your outfit from day to night" articles. It is like a public service announcement for fashion. Some think it is a feature about convenience, but in reality it is about preserving the integrity of your relationship to your clothes.

The beauty of a day to night outfit is that you take an element of your outfit and turn it into a new outfit. You also freshen up and change your makeup and sometimes your hair thereby heading off animosity and bad moods stemming from fashion max out.

No one wins when you are full of hate...
for your clothes.

Friday, October 2, 2009

There may be bigger things to worry about but I can't see that right now

I know it is irrational but I can't stand it when people wear gym clothes to places other than the gym. It really drives me nuts and I think it looks odd.

Exceptions are:
convenient store
coffee shop

Exceptions are for any place that is a run in run out situation or coffee post workout is acceptable (but still kind of pushing it). Have at least one element on that doesn't look like you are working out. Like put a cute top over your leggings or wide leg pants with your work out top. That is still convenient without being annoying.

I think it is pretentious or lazy or something.

My bad reaction is disproportionate to the crime and I haven't figured out why yet.

"Fine, great you workout. Like you need to throw it in our faces."