iphone. Private. Do not read.

I think I need some clarity on this whole iphone photo etiquette thing. I personally think of my iphone photos as a private diary of my craziness that I will selectively show someone a small portion of.

However, every time I hand the phone over to prove that yes I did put a sequin bow tie on the pug and he liked it, people start flipping though ALL my photos. I guess I don't blame people, the iphone makes it all too easy and fun to do so. I actually blame myself for thinking people won't do that.

I never would, but that is probably because I take crazy embarrassing pictures with mine. They act like it is the most natural thing in the world and I just want to snatch it out of their hands and scream "NOOOOO" but I'm the dumb ass who handed it over so that wouldn't be polite. Instead I go into a high pitched narration of what they are viewing as if that will make it more normal and understandable.

"Oh, I was trying to see if my makeup would show up in pictures."
"Um that is me taking a picture of my Kate Moss hair."
"Uh, I thought that pee stained fire hydrant was pretty."
"those are the pugs wearing sweaters."
"that is the pug and Rose wearing twin sweaters"
"Ah, that's a homeless woman trying to brush some amazing bed head hair."
"Yeah, that's funny (or not) because that guy is wearing all pink."
"yeah, um, that's me and my sister taking 'how fat are my thighs?' pictures"
"Oh, that's me trying to take before pictures of my wrinkles so I can see if the mushrooms are working."
"you take mushrooms?"
"yes, but not that kind, ok I need to erase these I'll just take that phone back now..."

I mean really! No unauthorized flipping! I know what it looks like, that's why I don't want you looking!
I'm aware that what I see as a social or fashion experiment others may see as a trip down the river narcissism. It is like I'm a teenager again having my inner most thoughts completely misunderstood.

Why am I too lazy to just erase the damn things. That, I think, is the real question.