Excuse me sir, 1993 called...

Driving home today I graciously let a man walk across the street (and by gracious I mean I didn't want to get a ticket for not stopping for a pedestrian). Since he was so freaking slow, I had time to stare at him. I didn't have my edit button on and I said rather loudly "Hey, fanny pack." My windows were mostly closed but I don't think that would have stopped me anyway.

Hearing it come out of my mouth it sounded like an insult. Probably because it was. Now don't get me wrong, the fanny pack is a genius idea; all that hands free convenience, carries more than a wallet yet less than a purse. Totally useful and uber practical. I can understand someone being blinded by its usefulness and completely unable to see that it is a trend that went out hard. Really really hard.

I feel especially bad for men. They are expected to walk around with everything they need in their pockets. It used to be that their only option was a back pack or a briefcase (both of which have very specific connotations). However, the advent of the "man bag" or "murse" has opened the door for men in such a way that they should never reach for the fanny pack again. Now I've heard some resistance to the murse so might I suggest a nice leather or canvas cross body messenger style bag. It is classic, timeless and useful without being pretentious. I mean seriously, if you were able to wear a fanny pack, you should be able to wrap your head around this idea.

Sporadic use of the fanny pack is ok. For instance if you are power shopping in a filthy downtown wholesale area where there are pick pockets, a fanny pack would be a good idea. However, that is the exception to the rule. And no, I don't care if it is a high end, designer fanny pack.

Please stop arguing with me.

PS- I had a fanny pack and I could never figure out what to wear with it. Talk about looking fat. Pardon me while I strap this fake belly around my own fat stomach and then I'll put this sweatshirt over the whole thing. What do you mean when am I due?