Well I have to take this. And this. And this. And this. and, of course, this.

I went to a co-ed camp all through Jr. high and high school. I went because it was co-ed and I really liked the idea of being away from home with the possibility that I would have a fabulous summer romance. I just found a notebook from seventh grade where I have a "List 4 Camp" proving that I:

a) have always been a fan of lists
b) have NEVER been a light packer
c) have never really understood the concept of "camping"

On my list I have things like toothpaste, soap and the usual but then there is this other section that reads:

Gel
Blow Dryer
Mascara
Blush/Brush
Eyeliner - Black/Blue
lipgloss
Electric razor
Nail polish/remover
Contact stuff - heater/water/pills
Brush
Barrettes
lotion

Seriously?

My favorite part is the "Shoe" section of the list.

Shoes - boat shoes, vans, mocs, sandals, pink/grey gyms, slippers

That is 6 pairs of shoes and some slippers! How big was my suitcase? Camp was only a week.

I distinctly remember being there and feeling like I didn't bring the right clothes and wished I had more to choose from. I felt like I was roughing it.

As I have matured I have come to accept the fact that camping isn't my thing.

I'd love to be that girl but, alas, I am not. And I'm pretty ok with it. I'm not even trying to change it anymore. I believe I have more readily accepted the fact that I'm not a camper than the fact that I'm not tall. I'm actually still holding out for some longer legs.

Just a couple of weeks ago someone asked me if I had any camping equipment and I burst out laughing.

I should have given them the above list and told them that I have all of those things if they ever need them.

Just when I was feeling ordinary...

So apparently I am now a "V.I.B"

Don't know what that is? Well let me tell you, it is a "very important beauty insider." Sephora has bestowed this honor on me and I have to say, I am honored. It isn't everyday you get an email like that.

What does that mean, you ask? It means that I have spent so much money (that I don't have) at Sephora that I am invited to spend even more. There are even more enticing deals to bring me to makeup and skin care central with more reasons to spend money. Why yes, I DO get a holiday bonus (it sounds a little like a job, actually) and guess what, the more I spend, the more my bonus is. I freakin' love this place.

And let me tell you why.

Everyone likes a reward card that costs no money and brings you treats and special status for buying the things you love. They really know how to make a girl feel special. Tops in my book. I'm not a fan of any reward program that costs money on top of the money you already spend there.

The Sephora Spectacular houses under one roof, a veritable plethora of beauty products. It has so many different lines of makeup and skin care that you could really spend days and days and not see it all. I've spent an entire afternoon drawing on my hand with the urban decay eyeliners trying to decide which shade of purple to get.

As soon as I found out about my new status, I went right over. I was dying to see if things looked different as a V.I.B. I wasn't ready to spend my inaugural, "welcome to the special club of spendy spenders" discount but I did want to scope out the place.

Right now, Dior has the most amazing shade of red nail polish. It is like a cranberry crossed with candy apple. It is divine. I used the tester to paint two of my nails and it is beautiful. It is fascinating that they only have one shade of nail polish. Brilliant marketing. It makes one feel like that is the uber color for fall. There is only one and this is IT. It is also expensive which makes you feel like it is an indulgence. I'm still thinking about it. These people are geniuses!

Here's something else I've discovered during operation recon at the Sephora, they are doing something called "Express Services." Each one has a different focus but the jist is, that one of their experts will give you a mini lesson on a different aspect of makeup application. The one coming up is called "Candy eye." Phenomenal. The beauty expert who was dressed in all black with her official black, expert smock, was wearing blue, white and pink eyeshadow with a glittery eyeliner and it looked amazingly neat. I was super impressed.

Candy eye!

Newshead sees the world in conspiracies. I, on the other hand am full of admiration for marketing ploys. Let them conspire to take my money by offering me a gift and an elite status that no one knows about.

Joke's on them. I was gonna shop there anyway.

Hats for my pea head

I love hats.
I have a very small pea sized head and a lot of hats don't fit me but I really am a fan of all kinds of hats.

This fall's goal: I want to wear fancy hats more often. Which means I need to figure out a way to make that work. The key will be to find an outfit that supports an interesting or fancy hat but isn't necessarily a fancy outfit.

Truly, if I wait for fancy occasions to wear them, it'll never happen.

I shall be ruminating about it. I think that urban outfitters and forever 21 have some interesting hat offerings some times. I'll start there. But I've also discovered that there are a few people who make vintage inspired hats on etsy.

Actually, now I want to learn to be a milliner. Then I can make my own hats.

What is that?

Every time I like something I think about how I can learn to make it myself. It isn't like that will be more cost effective and I'll probably never actually take the time to learn but wouldn't it be so fun?

"Oh yeah, and she makes hats."

"Really?"

"Yep. Neat, huh?

You may be asking why that conversation would be my dream.
I really don't have an answer for you.

I found this on etsy and I'm kind of in love with it:


I actually think maybe I'm in love with her. Is it weird that I really want to BE her? Literally. Seriously, look at how cute she is with her pink striped hair and her perfect pink lips and those eyes and that porcelain skin. You know what, I'm going to work on perfecting that expression.
What are the chances that etsy lady will send me the whole head with the wig and the hat? Cut to me and my new friend having our very own "Lars and the Real Girl" thing.

I have a huge crush on a mannequin head. And I'm going to wear more hats.

And that is where we are at for now.

And once again moderation and I barely recognize each other

I know artificial sweeteners aren't good for me. In the last year I've tried to quit the fake stuff because I'm convinced I'm growing a third arm (and what shirt is going to look good with that?). I still chain chew sugarless gum so that isn't exactly quitting but if you knew how many splendas/equals/sweet 'n low's/aspertames/xylitols I was downing in an attempt to not eat other things you would be a little more impressed with how much I've changed.

Tonight I was reminded why my stomach used to hurt more often than not. Sugar free candy culprit. I don't think artificial sweeteners are deadly per se, I think the amount I consume brings my mortality to the forefront. You see, if one is going to eat sugar free hard candy that is the flavor of cookies 'n cream, one should really keep it to one or two. In theory you are supposed to use the sugar free candy to get you through a craving not treat it like popcorn and eat the whole bag while watching an episode of Being Human (my new favorite vampire show).

I don't blame them. I blame myself. I don't do moderation. I have the intent of moderation but it all goes down hill once I break the seal. I just need to quit stuff.

Now, I've been "quitting" sugar for decades. That wagon dumps me off on regular occasions but what I think is important is that I am ALWAYS trying. I'm going for that "I just don't crave sweet stuff, I only eat omega threes and antioxidents" thing. I'll never give that up. I mean, half the fun is coming through a cycle of self loathing with a whole new resolve and healthy attitude.

Good times.

A Whole me at the Whole Foods

What is it about the Whole Foods that is so completely amazing? Is it the beautifully colored and stacked produce? Is it the brown rice sushi? Is it really high prices?

Something about just being there makes you feel like you are a healthier human being. It is gourmet combined with organic/environmentally consciousness. It is like nutty, crunchy, tree hugging fanciness. Who could ask for anything more?

I went in to find some dandelion tea that I read about online (I will plan to drink it two times a day and that will last about 1 day). But still. My intentions are fantastic and I wandered around the whole store for over an hour so all that healthy goodness must have sunk in just a little bit, right?

It isn't just food but their herbs, vitamins, and products are a vortex of "this will make me such a better person" spendiness.

Their prices are ridiculous. But even that makes them this unattainable, quarterback of the football team, "I'll be happy if he just says 'hi,'" I love you anyway fantasy that you can be very close to. You can buy some dandelion tea and pretend you spend all your time there.

It is a really satisfying place to be. That is all I'm trying to say.

Why do they stop making things that I love? Is it personal? It feels personal.

As I've established buying pants is quite a chore. Jeans are a special kind of hell. I bought the greatest pair of Citizens of Humanity wide leg jeans years and years ago after an exhaustive search. They now have a giant hole in the knee and are deteriorating quickly. I can't let them go. I love them I love them I love them. I'm thinking of a patch for the knee or some kind of decorative reinforcement. I bought them at full price when I had no money but they were the greatest investment and had a very high "happiness" return. Am I keeping them alive for me? I don't want to be selfish. Even if I were ready to put them out of their misery, there is a slight problem: I still have no money and even worse, I can't find them any longer.

I'm not ready.

I'm not ready for another search. I know I'll never find jeans as fabulous. Nothing will ever measure up. I think even if I did find the same style they wouldn't be the same. Well obviously because they aren't the same. I know that.

I'm thinking of turning to ebay. This won't be easy because I'm not one for wearing a strangers clothes and the risk factor seems high. However, if they are really cheap, I might just do it. To fulfill a quest. I'm sure it will feel like a hollow victory.

It's a silly thing to mourn. But it really is like losing a friend that always had your backside (and tried to make it look good). It will be hard to trust again.

I'm just going to see how they do this week.

Is it just me or are you crazy?

So, I was sharing the size 7 clearance aisle at DSW with a woman and her, no more than 9 month old, son. Oh, and their giant stroller. You know what. Mom's need to shop. I get it. However, I didn't appreciate having to hear their really loud, I mean LOUD, one sided (for obvious reasons) conversation. It was non stop talking in that fake, high pitched, sing songy tone. All the while being completely in my way.

"I know. Those are cute aren't they? You're cute too. Yes, you are. Oh look at these." "You ruined mommy's figure and her feet. Didn't you? Didn't you? Oh well, you're worth it." "Oh, what's wrong. You can't let mommy shop. I know. I know. What? What? These look nice."

What the fuck? Is she kidding me with this? It is as if she were having the conversation for my benefit. Well here's a tip: DON'T. If you want to talk to me, talk to me. If not, why don't you try using your 'inside voice'.

"What? What? These aren't for mommy now. Back in the day maybe." "what do you think of these. Huh? You like them? Do you? Come on what? Sparkly huh?" "I know. I know what you want. Hold on. Ok, but just wait. Here you go"

At this point she sits on the floor in the aisle and starts breast feeding. And the chit chat continued. Great. I'm out. I can't shop for shoes now. This is ridiculous. The stroller in the way, them in the way, and the constant fucking inane chatter!

"YOU ARE RUINING THE CLEARACE AISLE FOR ME!"

I didn't scream out loud. Only in my head.

Seriously, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say the minimum age of someone to solicit fashion advice from is 5 years old.

I'm gonna hold firm on that.

Sometimes what you think is a bad idea is really a good idea. I think.

I saw a really good play the other night. The girl in the show was wearing dark blue nail polish. Not so dark you couldn't tell it was blue. It was definitely blue. Even though it was chipped, it looked really cute. Maybe it was cute because it was chipped, I'm not sure. Chipped nail polish isn't usually a great look but somehow it worked. Maybe because SHE was cute. And really skinny.

Well now I want some blue nail polish. Can't wait to wear it until it chips and then continue wearing it. Sure, fine, I'll admit I've been inspired by a portrayal of a heroin addict who hasn't showered in a really long time. Yes. True.

But I intend to put my own twist on the look.

You can't question artistic inspiration.

The ancient art of shopping

Tomorrow is a shopping day. Rose is still on the hunt for silver pumps and Tracy and I are only too happy to oblige. Serious, mission oriented shopping is nothing to sneeze at and there many important considerations. Shopping outfits for one. Comfort and simplicity are of the utmost importance. Comfort because I'm likely to be out for the length of an entire work day and simplicity because trying things on shouldn't be a complicated affair. Shoes with lots of buckles would be cumbersome and any outfit that is difficult to reassemble in a tiny dressing room would just be an unnecessary hassle. The opposite is true if you are actually trying not to fall in love with anything. Then by all means make it as difficult as possible. In certain situations you need to be prepared to try things on over your clothes so I try not to wear anything too bulky. One of the hardest outfits to put together is the perfect shopping outfit. It requires a certain amount of endurance and yet must retain the proper level of happy making cuteness. Also don't forget to bring a sweater for later in the evening and a comfortable purse is a MUST.

Oh I have more tips. Read on.

The proper level of hydration is an important consideration. If shopping in an area where bathrooms are a rarity, you must go before you leave and stop drinking as soon as you do. This is the one time I will say leave that water bottle at home. You should strategically find some water when you are out (about 30 minutes before you anticipate finding a restroom). If you have dips in energy that will prove a liability or will thwart your mission, you MUST bring a snack. Or take some drugs. Almonds, string cheese, caffeine, whatever. I don't suggest candy. Trust me when I say, a Mike and Ike sugar crash is not what you need when you are thinking about making a purchase. That never ends well.

It is key to remember that there are a lot of annoying people out there in the shopping world. You must not let them get to you. Use affirmations or deep breathing or whatever works for you. Don't engage in their crabbiness or their weird competitive shopping rituals. Remember shopping is a sport but it isn't a competitive one. There is always going to be more stuff and more deals and nothing is worth ruining a pleasant day.

For anyone who is wondering

You know it doesn't take that long to eat an entire bag of Craisins.
You'd think it would.
But no. It really doesn't.

In a long series of things to do I have a few more things to do.

I accomplished a HUGE project today. Something that has been on all of my To Do lists forever. It was a really exciting moment because I got to go through my apartment and pull out all of my various pieces of paper and cross it off of every To Do I had. I broke it down into smaller sections on some lists so I had the pleasure of scratching off multiple things.

The really annoying thing is that I still have so much To Do. Compiling my lists made me realize that in the meanwhile I've racked up a shit load of shit to do.

What I thought was going to be a shining moment, a huge weight lifted, the beginning of a long respite actually had the complete opposite effect.

So I've made a pact with myself. I'm not taking anything else on. No more. After all of this, I am done doing stuff. I'm quitting everything.

Just as soon as I finish everything on all of these lists.

I'm really looking forward to it. Sure these next few weeks are going to be intense as I try to power through all of this stuff that I haven't been able to accomplish in years. But hey, the reward is going to be SWEET.

I cannot wait until I have NOTHING TO DO.

I hope I don't die.

Wouldn't that be awful? I'm not even trying to be morbid. I mean wouldn't that just suck if life is only as long as it takes you to accomplish your to do lists? I guess in a profound, philosophical, grand scheme type thing that is true. But what if it were literally true?

You know what. I'm going to risk it. It will be such a great moment (and now maybe a scary one) when I scratch that last little thing off of my list.

Now should I make a master list or keep the lists I have? Good question.

When Love Hurts

I was wearing some great shoes today. I love them. I had a plan to elevate my simple jeans and t-shirt thing with an interesting shoe choice. It made me happy.

Until they started to hurt. I was off in my calculations (how hot it is going to be x how much walking x how long I'm going to be out). It was too hot and therefore blisterville came earlier than I expected.

Luckily my last stop was the shoe store. I was on a mission for others today (yes I do shop for other people as well as myself). Kim needed to replace a brand new pair of yellow patent leather t-strap cuties that the neighbor's dog chewed (ouch!) and Rose is on the lookout for silver pumps. So, if the pain got to be too much, I was in the perfect place to remedy my situation.

I hobbled my way into the store (I never realized how long that walk was from the parking lot to the door). I immediately took my own shoes off. Which is weird when you aren't actually trying anything on yet but what are they going to say?

"No shoes. No service"

That wouldn't make any sense.

I made my way to the clearance section to see if any magic was going to happen. There really is nothing better than finding an expensive, beautiful, perfect pair of shoes that match the exact mood you are in with a 70% off sticker on them. Or finding a needle in a haystack as is the case with Kim's shoes.

Unfortunately today wasn't a magical day of gasps, sparkles and unicorns. In fact, there wasn't anything that made my heart skip a beat.

I began to look for an inexpensive but cute pair of flip flops to wear home and wouldn't you know it, there wasn't anything under $25.00.

Now, I love shoes. I love lots of things but I don't take any of it lightly. When I was little I loved my new shoes so much I would wear them to bed. I am of the mind that I simply cannot spend money on anything that doesn't make me feel like that. If I don't REALLY love it, if I wouldn't wear it or take it to bed, then I can't get it. No matter how much it is. And today's situation was especially stressful because I needed to be so sure about my choice that I would wear it out of the store, hence rendering it unreturnable. No room for doubt.

This poses a problem when you are standing in a sea of shoes with blistered feet and you can't find anything that fits that criteria. I couldn't spend $25.00 on a pair of flip flops when really all I needed was a bandaid.

After going around the store for a third time (I couldn't quite comprehend the fact that in this huge store there wasn't one pair I would take to bed with me), I came upon a pair of flats that looked eco-friendly (you know the style) and great for fall. They were super comfortable and I kind of loved them. I got excited but then as I was walking up to the register I started second guessing my motives. Was I talking myself into this choice out of necessity and pain or did I really love them? I became paralyzed for a moment. I started to wonder if I would just stay in the store forever, trapped by my own cluster fuck of indecision, self doubt and my inability to walk.

Eventually I started to get exasperated and annoyed with myself.

The only way to know if I love the shoes is to wait until I am out of desperation's clawing grip. I could

a) leave them there and hobble home
or
b) buy them and hobble home.

I'm staring at them right now. I can't wait to see how we feel about each other in the morning.

Let's just be trends with benefits, ok?

So, purple is very in for fall. Everyone is talking about purple.

Purple purple purple.

For some reason purple isn't a color I wear (probably has something to do with the whole prominent vein situation). Purple and I parted ways a long while back. Now, I never said I wouldn't be seen with purple. I mean, we didn't break up or anything, we just didn't have any chemistry. So, you know, pfft.

But now I'm thinking I'd like to give it another go. Purple and I can't be totally on the outs forever. Can we?

Let's be clear about this: I'm not suddenly into purple just because it is "in" for fall. I don't jump on every trend trolley that swings through town. However, because it is "in," it is everywhere and now it is in my style consciousness. I daydream about me and purple hanging out, possibly going to a party. The inherent virtue of purple is why I want to reexamine my relationship with purple. It has nothing to do with popularity.

Oh, let's face it. I'm susceptible to the siren song of collective desire.

What's a girl to do? There has to be some way I can work this out.

I think I'm going to start a small flirtation, maybe eyeliner and shoes; a casual coffee drink together. If all goes well perhaps we'll heat things up with some eggplant colored pants; perchance we shall get a little drunk together. Could be fun.

But listen, I'm not looking for anything serious so don't get too clingy. I'm going to be honest, I still have a thing going with orange and gold. No hurt feelings right?

I know what you are thinking but I'm doing it anyway.

I had a dream I was waiting on the Obamas.

Me: Hi, how are you? What can I get for you this evening?
President Obama: Hello, Krista. (huh, they know my name now) Well, what will you be having?
Me: (terribly impressed at the invite) Oh, thank you! I'm really not very hungry tonight.
President Obama: Now come on.
Me: Oh you know it is back to school time so I'm really watching it, plus I'm feeling really puffy today (at this point I streatched out my arm and pinched the lunch lady fat under my tricep)

Everyone at the table chuckled with understanding and then Michelle Obama ordered the low cal plate (hamburger patty with a scoop of cottage cheese and canned peaches) and President Obama ordered the fish special as a complete dinner (tapioca instead of rice pudding). Why they were regulars at a diner in Carol Stream, I will never know but apparently they were.

Then I told my assistant (uh huh) to get them whatever they needed because I was excited to go and chat with my friend Kristina who surprised us with a visit and she had a sassy new haircut. It was a shorter version of the haircut I had freshman year of high school and it looked really cute.

Now I know that people say no one wants to hear about your dreams (jonathan) especially if they aren't in them (rose) but this one seemed really important.

Plus, I'm a rule breaker.

Nostalgia is as nostalgia does and some such

Here are some really important things you should know:

I can spot a ding dong from a mile away.
I knew a 'zinger' as soon as I saw it (and got a little teary) even though I don't recall ever having one.
In a completely unblind taste test, the crumb cake beats out both the ding dong and the twinkie based on the criteria of fresh moist cake and the zinger wins for best cake to creme filling ratio.

In the spirit of full disclosure the zebra cake, star crunch and nutty bar were noticeably absent from said taste test. I wandered the streets trying to find them but to no avail. They still haunt my dreams.

After two days of eating nostalgia I was reminded that my problem goes way back. I may tell myself I can quit at any time but the reality is...

I'm a junkie

Perhaps this was the tipping point for the all carb showdown last week.

you think?

mystery lips

So I have had severely chapped lips for the past two months. I was convinced I got a little over zealous with the anti-aging cream and had burnt the shit out of them. When that wasn't it I threw out an old sticky lipgloss that I thought might have been the culprit. Still awful. I went through four tubes of lip balm medicated and otherwise and put every hydrating thing I could find on my lips. I did a sugar scrub, exfoliated with a wet wash cloth, moisturizing lip scrub, a lip peel...nothing!

I've not really had this problem in the past so I'm a bit perplexed. Every time I think it is better it flares up again. I'm obsessed with figuring out what I'm using that is making this happen. The only thing that has seemed to help is pure vitamin E oil which I only just discovered this week. I thought I had solved my problem but then tonight it got bad again. It actually looks like I had some kind of bad collagen lip procedure done.

I will admit that because my lips are swollen, the wrinkles I was worried about aren't really visable right now. So there's a silver lining. However, the downside is that I can't wear any color on my lips or I look like a dehydrated corpse. Like if I was going for zombie lips it would be impressive. Unfortunately, I don't need that look at the present moment so it is a waste.

I asked my friend the internet about the severity of the problem and overwhelmingly everyone is suggesting that I have an allergy. Probably to the very thing I am using to help cure me. Lip Balm. Goddamnit! I just bought a new one that smells like the most amazing vanilla frosting and another tinted one that smells like a tropical drink. Into the garbage. I am so sad about it. I am relieved however, to think that it is just lip balm. I can work around that. Newshead said "wouldn't it be awful if you were allergic to makeup?"

Oh the horror. I can't even speak.

Death by carbs

What if I had an "all carb" day. What if I had a croissant for breakfast, pinkberry as a pre-lunch snack, 9 mini almond biscottis for lunch (man those things don't fill you up. They are "mini" after all), polenta as an appetizer and then for dinner, pasta and garlic bread with an apple crisp chaser. And then on the way home what if I heard the song "Pour some sugar on me..." how appropos. I AM "hot, sticky sweet from my head to my feet" because I ate all that crap. "You've got the peaches, I've got the cream..." I never heard that part before. Hmmm.

That would just seem like a weird day. Wouldn't it?

I feel gross.

It's sick really

I went to the doctor to have a mole type thing removed from my practically transparent, cancer magnet of an epidermis. (Oh for some beautiful, protective pigment). I don't actually have the c word yet but I'm pretty sure it's lurking so I constantly go to the dermatologist and point to things on my body that I'm concerned about. I don't like going to the doctor at all and I'm not a hypochondriac. I am really trying to see if I can get some microdermabrasion or some other fabulous facial type service and have it only cost me a co-pay. The upside of the HMO is that I can go to the doctor whenever I want without worrying about spending too much. The downside is they're not into microdermabrasion or anything fancy. So the doctor removed the mole type thing and said I could go down to the pharmacy and get this antibiotic ointment stuff. Which I assumed was like neosporin which I have at home. I was about to leave when I started thinking

"well maybe it isn't like neosporin. Maybe it is better than neosporin. I like neosporin a lot, I think it is miraculous but maybe I want something new. I'll just go down to the ghetto pharmacy in the building and check it out. I mean, if I don't need it I won't get it. This place is so dingy. Hmmm what are those? pill boxes. I could use a pill box. These aren't bad. I would buy that. Ok, if I'm getting the ointment, I'll get that hand lotion too. Maybe I should get this chapstick. I don't really need it but I'll get it since I'm here. They don't really have much and all these boxes look dusty. Oh, here's the ointment. It isn't even prescription. It is exactly like neosporin. Should I get it anyway? No. Jesus. Get it together! You don't need anything. Krista, put everything down and walk out of the gross pharmacy NOW!"

This just proves that I could find something to buy anywhere. I do have a sickness.

The many virtues of the legging

I am a huge fan of the leggings comeback. I remember loving them back in college and pairing them with the most giant sweaters one has ever seen. Not my finest moment but at least I have a chance to redeem myself.

Leggings really give new life to the sundresses I feel awkward wearing with a bare leg. Sometimes you feel a little more veiny than usual or your knees feel fat or you have weird bruises all over or you didn't have time to shave. Leggings. That's the answer. They have the added benefit of making you feel a little like a dancer. And dancers are really fit so that's cool. Leggings are also cooler than jeans so you can wear a pants dress look even on the hottest of days. Additionally, and I'm not sure why this is but, you can wear a shorter skirt with leggings than you can without. There are some really cute skirts out there that are now possible. Fantastic. I mean truly, leggings are the new tan.

"let's face it. legginged fat is better than pasty white fat."

I hear lululemon has leggings that go great under clothes but also double as a workout pant. Actually, I have heard numerous times that lululemon pants are magical but I refuse to try them on until I can afford to be addicted to $95 workout pants because we all know that they are one try on away from becoming my newest obsession. Thank goodness Forever 21 has leggings for $5 and since I workout at home, I could wear them for that if I wanted to.
Some day lululemon. Some day.

Dear Diary,
Today I saw leggings
that looked like denim.
They even had pockets
painted on the butt. I
guess the effect is the
tightest “jeans” you
have ever owned but
you don’t have to lay on
the bed to zip them up.
I’m not sure how I feel
about that. I believe
tight jeans should
require a little work.

Sometimes trends come out of necessity and sheer force of will. make it so.

Here's the thing. I seem to have a lot of pants in my closet that I'm not wearing because I haven't had them hemmed. I tend to get really excited by any pair of pants that will accommodate my thighs regardless of the length. Well with my own personal recession going on I haven't been able to pull the trigger on going to the dry cleaners. That and I can't decide what shoes to hem them to. It seems such a permanent decision and then the choice problem comes into play. So I think I am going to start a new trend of wearing pants that are slightly different lengths. Whether I decide to just cut them or get a needle and thread and sew them myself, the result will be the same: they will be uneven and look like the handy work of a five year old.

I am going to tell everyone "it's the new thing" If I just keep saying it is totally in and wear them with confidence, I think I can pull it off. Who knows, maybe lots of people will start wearing my new "unkempt hem look."

"OMG, I love your pants. Is that the new 'chewed' hem by Baby Tiger?"
"it is! Aren't they fantastic. Totally worth the tons of money I paid for them."
"I really like yours too. That hem is so unique."
"Thanks. I love that no two hems are alike. These even have different colored thread because she didn't have enough blue."
"It's a great look. I heard she only sews with hotel sewing kits."
"I know. So innovative."
"I wish I could not know how to sew like her."
"Me too."
"sigh"
"sigh"

Totally gonna do it.